Real Life Runners with Angie and Kevin Brown

442: New Year, New You? Creating Identity-Based Resolutions That Stick

• Angie Brown

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As a new year begins, it’s natural to feel the pull to set big goals for what’s ahead. In this episode, we’re diving into why so many New Year’s resolutions don’t last—and more importantly, how to set goals for 2026 that actually stick.

We talk about the difference between outcome goals (like hitting a race time or distance) and process goals—the daily and weekly actions that truly move the needle. Because results don’t come from willpower alone… they come from consistency, and consistency comes from goals that fit your real life.

From there, we explore something we see all the time with runners: setting goals that don’t align with who you are right now. When your goals clash with your identity, your nervous system, or your season of life, they often create pressure, burnout, or that familiar “I just can’t stick with this” feeling. We share why identity-based goals matter—and how shifting the way you see yourself as a runner can completely change the way you show up.

We also talk honestly about extreme goals and all-or-nothing thinking—why going “all in” sounds motivating but often backfires. Instead, we encourage building goals that allow for flexibility, grace, and trust—especially when life inevitably throws curveballs.

Throughout the episode, we share real-life examples from our own journeys, stories from runners we coach, and a few lighthearted moments (because yes, goal-setting doesn’t have to be so serious). We also touch on the often-overlooked role of the nervous system—how feeling safe, supported, and regulated is a key part of creating sustainable habits.

If you’re heading into 2026 wanting to feel more grounded, consistent, and confident in your running (and your life), this episode will help you shift away from pressure-driven resolutions and toward small, meaningful steps that actually last.

Because big goals aren’t built in January…

They’re built in the everyday choices you make, over and over again.

If you want support as you chase big goals this year, check out the Real Life Runners Team — we’re here to guide you and support you to get there!

🎧 Tune in and let’s set goals that work with you—not against you.

Join the 30 Day Running Reset and get a plan that will help you build a strong and injury-proof body by combining running and strength training in a way that actually works for runners like you.

Gain access to my new secret podcast, Unbreakable: The Runner's Guide To Injury-Proofing Your Body After 40. Click here: https://www.realliferunners.com/secret

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Angie:

Welcome back to the Real Life Runners podcast, and welcome to a new year. January 1st brings a lot of energy. There's hope and motivation, and sometimes, often pressure. This is the time that we're told to start fresh, to set big goals, to become a new version of ourselves. New Year, new you. But if you've ever started the New Year feeling committed only to find yourself weeks later or even a couple months later, wondering why it didn't last, I want you to know. You didn't fail your resolution. You are not a failure. The resolution failed you. The way that you went about that resolution was not the best because so many resolutions focus on outcomes like pace or weight or mileage, and not on the process of how to actually live and train. And even when people do set process goals, they often go too big. So today we're talking about. Process goals, outcome goals, and all of it. How all of it needs to be rooted in identity, because when your goals are rooted in your identity and supported by the right sized repeatable processes, consistency stops feeling like a fight, and you are so much more likely to achieve your goals. So stay tuned. Welcome back to the podcast everyone. Happy New Year.

Kevin:

Happy New Year

Angie:

2026. This is wild. If you're listening to this on the day that it's released, it is January 1st.

Kevin:

It is also unlikely most people are listening to this on January 1st.

Angie:

I disagree. I think there's gonna be plenty of people that are listening to this on January 1st. All right, excellent. They're out on their run and they're ready to start a new year fresh. Maybe the run is a little bit later than it normally is. Maybe it's not. At 5:00 AM like they normally do, maybe it's six 30 or seven'cause they have the day off.

Kevin:

Or perhaps happy January 2nd

Angie:

or perhaps that, so Kevin and I were talking about, okay, this episode is coming out on January 1st, so clearly we have to talk about the new year because as runners, as people that are into health and fitness, and if you're listening to this podcast that is you, we often use January 1st as. A new reset and people love to set New Year's resolutions. I've always said, I'm like one of those people that say I don't set New Year's resolutions because I believe there doesn't have to be a starting point. You can use any day to just decide to change. And I also recognize that can be a little shortsighted because it is true that our brains do like the start of something, whether it's the start of a new week, the start of a new month, the start of a new year. Our brain likes to use these points in time. To take a look at things and actually start over again. Like it does have some neuroscience behind it as well.

Kevin:

people love a new start, a fresh start to whatever it is. That's why so many people, if they start falling off in December, and hopefully you didn't, maybe you caught our last episode, you, or the last couple of episodes, you went strong through December through the holidays. but. it, the brain still says, oh, now it's January. Now we can start going, yeah, maybe you slipped through the holidays and you were like, once it hits January, I'll start up again and I'll be good again.

Angie:

And so today we really wanna talk about New Year's resolutions. We wanna talk about the idea and the concept of it. Maybe we'll share some of our ideas for. Goals and quote unquote resolutions for the new year. I totally just threw that. That

Kevin:

should be fun to put us both on the spot. I

Angie:

just threw that at Kevin. You guys should have just seen how big his eyes just got. He was I didn't know I was gonna be talking about that. I'm sure

Kevin:

I can make up some resolutions somewhere during the episode. I'm curious if you have resolutions already.

Angie:

I dunno about that. So I oftentimes just throw that one to you. Perfect. Yeah. Perfect. Here we are in this collective January energy of a fresh start. In, one of our past episodes, we also talked about how 2025 was a nine year, which is a year of conclusion and kind of wrapping things up and of endings and completion, and how 2026 is a one year in numerology, which is fresh starts, new beginnings, clean slates, all sorts of fun. So that's just what normally happens at the beginning of the new year as well. And I think that 2026 energy might be even more so in that direction because I think 2025 was a pretty rough year for a lot of people. I know I've talked to a lot of people and just the energy like in the collective seems to be one of a lot of crazy things that happened in 2025.

Kevin:

Gestalt of 2025 was stressful. Is that what we're going with? That's

Angie:

what we're going with. Perfect. So I think that 2026 this new year can bring a lot of hope, which is fantastic. And at the same time when we have hope, there's always this 50 50 of a little bit of dread to of, oh gosh, is it gonna be the same thing? Is it gonna be more of the same? Like part of our brain wants to go to hope. And setting goals and doing all the new things. if you've ever set a resolution that you didn't stick to or set a goal that didn't happen for you, there's also that little voice in the back of your head that's yeah, but you tried this before. Is it really gonna work this time? And there's that little bit of you that's a little dreadful and like worried that it's not going to stick again.

Kevin:

Yeah. when you talk about hope and you keep saying that, it's the new year and we've got this hope I, being the Star Wars nerd that I am, keep thinking of a new hope, which isn't that episode

Angie:

four.

Kevin:

It's episode four, which most people just call Star Wars. Yeah. but that Star Wars New Hope. And you know that as that thing goes, you're like, oh, great, we meet all these new characters. It starts dull. You're walking around in the desert. But pretty quickly you get and you're like, okay, wait, I thought we were gonna do some happy times on this. it's literally called New Hope. How come this guy is dressed all in black and he's choking people with his mind? there's, there is the flip side to this, like within that movie, they do a great job of light and dark and. it's the balance that you're talking about here is as soon as you bring in the hope, your mind is like, are you sure? Are you sure? Hope is how we should go. We had hope last year and it didn't necessarily pan out, and so our mind automatically likes to flip to that safety mechanism of being like, maybe we should have just a little bit of hope, but let's keep dread also at the forefront. And we don't have to, we can have some positive resolutions as long as we come at them the right direction.

Angie:

Yeah, and I just want you to hear too that if that is you, if you are approaching this new year with a little bit of dread, you can decide how much or how little that is. That can be very normal. I don't want you to think that means that something's wrong with you or that you're automatically a pessimist because if resolutions haven't worked for you before, it oftentimes isn't just because you lack discipline. Discipline is like the whole concept. And we actually talked a little bit about discipline last week, not last year. I guess it was last year. Yes, last year. In our last episode, we talked about discipline as a form of devotion. Devotion to yourself, devotion to your body, devotion to the process. And that's a cool way to of looking at it too. But a lot of people think of discipline as essentially willpower and you lacking willpower and discipline to stick to your resolutions. Is actually a very normal thing because there's only so far that willpower can take you. So it's not that you're just lacking discipline and willpower and that there's something wrong with you, it's that the system that you were using doesn't work, that you didn't build the process or the system to support the goals. And the outcomes and the process and the person that you are becoming, maybe you never actually stepped into that identity and really believed that's who you were and what you were going to achieve because that little voice got the better of you, which don't feel bad again because that little voice gets the better of a lot of us. A lot of times,

Kevin:

that little voice gets better of almost all of us, and we're like, oh no, if I can just willpower my way through, really, you're just gonna grid it out for the next 12 months. that's why most resolutions fail because, and that's why people

Angie:

hate running too.

Kevin:

that's also true, right? if you think

Angie:

about it, like if you go out and start to run and running doesn't feel great, and you're like, oh, I just gotta do it. I have to do this, I have to do this. I wanna get in shape. And you're just thinking about the outcome that you want to achieve, that the runner's body that you want to have. You're just thinking about the outcome and you're not actually enjoying the process. Again, that's why most runners fail. That's why most runners are inconsistent. That's why most runners like start and then fall off the bandwagon.

Kevin:

you went to, I want the runner's body. What about that person who is I haven't run before. Yeah. 2026, that's gonna be my year to run and I'm going to run a 5K. And they throw a number at it

Angie:

or they wanna go straight to a half marathon or marathon.

Kevin:

Yes. And not just half marathon or marathon, but half marathon or marathon and a time goal. Yeah. And. If you have, if you've been taking a break from running, if you're new to running, those first few weeks are going to not feel great. And you're like, I will never be able to hit that time. it's impossible. And so every time you keep telling yourself that the goal is impossible. Because all you're thinking about is the final outcome, and that outcome is so far away. Your willpower shrinks just a little bit more, and eventually it's very easy to just flick the willpower away and be like, and goal is done. I don't have to achieve this goal anymore. It's never going to happen.

Angie:

And the reason that. So many outcome-based resolutions fail. There's a couple different reasons. Number one is that those outcomes are delayed. We are people. Our brains love instant gratification. We love seeing the fruits of our labors and the rewards of our work as soon as possible, and that has just gotten more and more pronounced with the technological culture that we're in. We have everything right at our fingertips. Think about what you have to wait for nowadays. If you are. Delivery takes more than a day or two to get to you. You're pissed off because we have been conditioned to expect Amazon deliveries at our door within a day or two. Somehow even get there within a couple of hours, depending on how close you are to the warehouse. You, whatever you wanna watch on tv, you can go turn it on. You can watch full seasons of shows. You don't have to wait from week to week like we used to do we eighties and nineties babies that had to wait for the next episode to air the following week at the same time.

Kevin:

Yeah. Or stand up and walk across the room to change the channel.

Angie:

Yeah. did you have to do that? You guys probably had a remote control pretty early on at your house, didn't you?

Kevin:

Not all of the TVs had a remote control and so somebody had to get up. Do you

Angie:

remember the cable boxes? You guys had the cable boxes, right? We had a cable box. Yeah. So you had the TV and then you had the cable box too.

Kevin:

We, we had the attached, did you have the A and B cable thing that you had to flip back and forth between Yes. To get like the extra channels?

Angie:

Yes.

Kevin:

Yes. Yeah.

Angie:

Yeah.

Kevin:

I don't even remember that

Angie:

brown cable box with the red light up numbers.

Kevin:

Vaguely.

Angie:

Oh, that's the one I had. I just

Kevin:

remember that you had to flip from A to B to get like the good channels on B.

Angie:

Yeah. Crazy. So we now, That's maybe how we grew up and how a lot of us were. Originally conditioned, but now we've been. Transforming into this culture of instant gratification and running outcomes. Running goals are often delayed. Name one running goal that is not delayed by at least a little bit. I can't,

Kevin:

any quality running goal is gonna have some delay to it. Unless your goal is I'm going to do strides at the end of my run. Yeah. And you're already like five minutes away from the end of your run. You reach that goal relatively quickly, but that goal, but that's a

Angie:

silly goal.

Kevin:

Yeah. That goal is only, is more process,

Angie:

right? It is. It is. So all, pretty much all the outcomes that you're gonna want to achieve in running are delayed, and so that means that they take time and they take effort, and you have to trust the process and you have to put in the work before you see results. Outcomes are also not. Fully under your control. So you might set a goal to run a half marathon in under two hours, and you can train, you can go through the best training plan and follow the training plan and do your running and your strength training. And then who knows what happens on race day. I know we've talked about the Key West Half Marathon before, but that is a great example. When we ran the Key West Half Marathon in 2019, we woke up that morning and there was. Basically a tsunami outside. There was, it was essentially a hurricane in January, which was so crazy. But we looked out the window and the palm trees were going sideways because the wind was so high and it was just pouring down rain. They actually had to delay the start of the race by a couple of hours. We didn't even know if it was going to happen. So all of these weather conditions were completely out of. Our control, which then threw our entire fueling plan off. there were all of these different variables that were not fully in our control that affected the outcome of those races.

Kevin:

It didn't affect your outcome all that much. Somebody else, somebody, one of the two of us, crushed it that day.

Angie:

we could argue that it didn't affect yours since you won the race.

Kevin:

Yeah. But not necessarily with the time. You, on the other hand, just went out and blew everything outta the water. That

Angie:

was really fun. That was my half marathon pr. But so sometimes that outcome is not really within your control and you, it ends up with good, bad results.

Kevin:

Yes. Because you were able to take a whole heck of a lot of the pressure off that race. Yeah. which,

Angie:

which connects to like my third point here, which is that outcomes often create pressure to perform versus trust. if you are, and that was one of my goals honestly, during that race. I wanted to go out and I wanted to pr the half marathon. I was in really good shape. I was, I felt really good about my training and I went out to, with a goal to set a new pr. And then that whole race morning happened, and I basically said, okay, I just shrugged my shoulders and I said, I'm just gonna go out there and do the best that I can given these conditions, we have no idea, like the streets were literally flooded. They had to reroute parts of the race because there were just lakes in the middle of the street that we had to run around. I just let go of my goal of setting a PR and said, okay, I'm just gonna go out there and I'm gonna do my best and I'm gonna push as hard as I can. So I was really able to take all of that pressure off myself and allow my body to just perform that day.

Kevin:

Yeah, that was fun. the weather, the way the wind was going, did not cooperate, so I was like, I know what I'm capable of doing, and I've got a tailwind right now, so if I go a little bit fast, it's gonna be okay. Like I. I think at that race worked. I wonder how

Angie:

fast I could have run if that we didn't have that wind.'cause there was a pretty significant headwind at one point.

Kevin:

I a good chunk of like basically a half of that race because it an out back, a good chunk the way back in. Yeah. Had a big headwind. Yeah. That's why I was like, all right, I'm taking it out quick, early, because it's gonna be really hard to come back. Into a headwind.

Angie:

Yeah. So if as a runner you set these outcome-based goals, I wanna run a certain pace or I want to. Run a certain mileage or I wanna hit a certain time in a race that I'm running, or maybe your, one of your goals is to lose weight and you wanna lose 20 pounds. All of those are outcome based goals, the actual result that you want to achieve. And. Not everything is in your control when it comes to all of these things like weight loss for example. A lot of people have a weight loss goal at the new year. You can control what you put into your body, but you can't control how your body responds to that. You can't control how your body responds to exercise necessarily. Like you can definitely get better at it. You can become a scientist and figure out how your body's responding so that you can give it more of what it responds better to, and you can make sure that you're getting enough recovery so that you're getting the benefits of your. Training and all these things, but you can't actually force your body to lose weight.

Kevin:

That is true. And as the calendar turns every year, it seems like the way that we can change our weight seems to change every year of I ate like this last year and this were my results. Yeah. I ate like this the same in the next year, and I had totally different results. I feel like every time the calendar flips right, how to change your mileage goals, your pace goals, your weight goals also changes that whole s become a scientist is a little bit Of, of a good one.

Angie:

Yeah. What we don't wanna do is then focus on those outcomes. We can have outcomes. I think that outcomes can be helpful because they can give us a direction of where we want to go, right? If we say, okay, I want a PR in this race. I wanna run a half marathon, whatever it might be, that's gonna give you a good direction and help you. Craft the process and the journey that you need in order to have the best chance that you can at achieving that. And that's really what takes us to process goals. So instead of if you're someone that wants to. Hit a, set some New Year's goals and some resolutions. I would highly suggest that you, if you wanna set an outcome goal, that's fine, but don't only set an outcome goal. Also set a process goal, because process goals are better. Process goals are what you actually have control over. They're the actual steps that you can take in order to achieve the goal that you want to achieve. for example. I'm going to run three days per week. I'm going to run 30 minutes a day. Again, you don't always have full control of these things either, but you have a lot more control of your process than you do of your outcome.

Kevin:

Yeah, three days a week, 30 minutes a day is a heck of a different goal than I'm going to run. 1500 miles this year I'm gonna run a thousand. I keep getting the ads on my social media feed of run the year. So you know you're gonna have to run 2026 miles. Yeah. Unless you break that thing down, you're likely to end up. On the back few months of the year being like, alright, so I've gotta do 400 miles a month for the last three months outta the year. And suddenly you're like, that's more than I'm currently capable of doing. So sometimes these big giant goals are great, but only if you break down and actually see what the steps are going to need to be in order to reach those things. So I like the process. I like that I'm gonna run three times a week. That seems to make more sense for some people. Other people might be like, yeah, I could run the year. If they break the thing down and see what that's actually gonna require.

Angie:

Yeah, definitely. But the issue is that even people that are like listening right now and thinking to themselves, oh yeah. Process goals. Like I, I know this, I, this is what I do. I set process goals. A lot of people get this wrong. Because they set their process goals too big, they automatically go to extreme. So something like, I'm gonna run every day. I'm gonna strength train five times per week. I'm not gonna miss any workouts. And oftentimes this backfires because life happens or fatigue accumulates, or you're let you know. Just there's so many other things that can happen in your life that when you. Create very extreme process goals and. Aren't able to stick to them, then automatically your brain is going to probably LA label that as a failure. And when you're a failure, then it can lead to the F it effect where you just throw up your hands and you're like, I already failed. It's one of the reasons that I'll

Kevin:

try again in 2027,

Angie:

right? Because a lot of people wanted these big overhauls. They wanna set big goals for themself. And I'm all for big goals. Don't get me wrong. I love big goals. I like you. Setting something out there that you are not sure if you're gonna be able to achieve and if you are okay. if you wanna set a process goal of, I'm gonna work out every day, or I'm gonna run five times a week, and you're okay missing a day here and there and not totally getting down on yourself and then feeling guilt and shame and all of that about it, then it's more okay, I would say. But we have to make sure that we're also building in. Flexibility and grace because we know that life is gonna get in the way. We know that things are gonna come up that are unexpected.

Kevin:

you have to build in that grace, but you also have to meet yourself where you currently are. Absolutely. If you're currently running two times a week, your process goal of I'm gonna run five times a week, is very quickly going to accumulate a level of fatigue That you are just not prepared for. Like that. That first week is gonna be brutal. You're gonna use a whole heck of a lot of willpower. That second week is gonna be really hard. You're gonna use most of the rest of the willpower. And then, I'm sure that I'm not at all making this stat up, but then you'll join the rest of the, what, 90% of people who fail their resolution before it hits February.

Angie:

So just because you're setting a process goal doesn't necessarily mean it's sustainable or realistic, and. We've talked about goals a lot of different times on this podcast, and sometimes it's very good for you to have a non-realistic goal, like something that stretches beyond your current reality because it's going to help you grow. But you have to have the right mindset around that goal if in order for that to be a good goal. Where when we look at process goals. The process goals should be something that you are able to do day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, because that is how you get the best results. The best results come from consistency and sustainability. So if you're jumping, like Kevin said, if you're jumping from oh, like I run like once or twice a week to, I wanna run five times a week. and you're doing that within a week's time, right? Like you're going from December 29th, where you're running one to two times a week, and then all of a sudden January 1st hits and you're like, okay, five days a week, three miles minimum per day, like all these things, and you're just jumping your training load up too fast. That's a recipe for injury. And then when you're injured or if you get injured, then you're not gonna be consistent. So it's much, much better and more effective for you to set smaller goals. Like Kevin said, meet yourself where you are and then do smaller steps that will get you to the place where you wanna be. So if you, if running five times a week is your goal, fantastic. Maybe that's your goal. To achieve in the next three months, is to build yourself up to that point.

Kevin:

Yes, that's exactly what I was gonna say is that is actually a pretty solid goal, but not if you're currently at two because you need a plan to get healthy from where you currently are to the next place. You need the safe steps that you can take. If you're at one to two days a week, you need to consistently get to two and then. Build in a third day. Maybe you can be like, all right, I'm gonna do something five days a week, and you can go out and get a walk. So that you've got your schedule planned out. Yes, this is how I'm going to fit my schedule to run five days a week. But right now, most of those are just going to be walks. Because otherwise that's just too much pounding on your body that you aren't used to, and your body is quickly going to break down and you're going to hate running. Or cross

Angie:

training, like biking, you could throw in there.

Kevin:

Yet something that just doesn't put the same pounding impact on your body as running. Because to go from inconsistent one to two times a week to five is a lot if you're just flipping it from one week to the next.

Angie:

But I love that idea of I'm gonna put this into my calendar. I'm gonna put this into my schedule, and I'm just going to move my body. During that time, it doesn't necessarily have to be a run at this point because that would be too much on me.

Kevin:

So it's a big, it's a huge mental overhaul, but then you don't have the physical aspect On top of it also. Yeah. it is still an audacious goal to go from working at one to two times a week. To five. But most of that is of when am I fitting into my schedule that I'm going to have a workout window? Yeah. Even if you're not actually working out during that window, you're moving your body, you're doing some form of movement, cross training, walking, a, biking, something to that effect. It doesn't have to be a run every day starting in January.

Angie:

Yeah, and we just had a client, fill out one of our. Training plan requests, and we were looking through it. And this is a great example of this idea is, she put down like what her goals were and she wanted to run a half marathon. She, I think she has already signed up for that half marathon in like early April, but she has some knee pain that she's been dealing with, so she. Basically was saying how she wanted to PR in that half marathon, but she also hasn't been running for the past month because of this knee pain. So this is one of those examples where we can have really good. Intentions and goals, all these things are good, but we also have to again, meet you where you are and build you up appropriately. So I corresponded with her back and forth and I'm like, I love that you have this goal to run a half in sub two. I just don't know if this timeline is the best because of the knee injury and the time off that you've had. We need to rebuild the foundation so that your body's able to. Withstand the training that you'll need in order to achieve that goal of a sub two half marathon. love the goal, let's do it. We just have to think about this timeline and be able to have the flexibility to assess and adjust and see how your body responds to everything,

Kevin:

right? Because as you train, stress your body, as you aim for a bigger goal, you have to push. Further than you're currently capable of, which is going to create that, that breakdown within the body. You also have to make sure you have enough time to actually recover from it. And if you wanna ramp yourself from a couple days a week, or coming off an injury where you're just taking full off downtime And you wanna ramp yourself up to something new, you not only have to plan in how to exercise, but also how to actually get the appropriate rest and recovery from it.

Angie:

Yes, absolutely. And that's really where we can bring our nervous system in to this whole picture, because bigger isn't always better. More isn't always better. Safer is better because your nervous system requires safety and for you to be consistent, for you not to get injured. Your nervous system needs to feel safe. And safety with your nervous system comes from predictability. And success like you, your brain again wants to know, okay, we've done this before. We've been successful at this. I feel safe in this place. Okay. And when you feel safe, now we can stretch a little bit more. We can stretch a little bit outside that comfort zone of what we already know and what we already can do.

Kevin:

So we're in our comfort zone, but we're putting like a foot outside of the cave,

Angie:

right? The goal is never because like people, and this is an interesting thing about goals too. So many people say, to achieve a goal, you have to get outside your comfort zone, but your nervous system hates being outside its comfort zone. So that's really hard, especially if you wanna stay outside your comfort zone. So I like to think of it as not just jumping outside, like the visual that I'm picturing in my mind is that your comfort zone is in a circle, right? And you're in the middle of your comfort zone. Okay, got it. So instead of yes, you could put one foot out, but a lot of people are telling you to jump outside so that you're completely outside of the circle of your comfort zone. You're with me. I'm visually

Kevin:

still with you. Okay.

Angie:

So yes, you can do that, but I like what you're saying. First is just put your foot outside and keep one foot in the comfort zone. Keep one foot out, and then the goal is to then expand the comfort zone so that your new comfort zone is a bigger circle and is now encompassing that foot that's outside of the comfort zone. I like it. You with me? I totally with you. so you can think about it as putting one foot out, or you could also think of it as like putting that foot on the very edge of the circle and pushing gently until this, the circle starts to expand. And that's really what we need. That is the key to sustainable training because yes, you need to expand your comfort zone. You need to expand your capacity. To accept training load in your body. And in order to do that, your nervous system has to be able to take it. yes, people always think about the musculoskeletal system, the joints, the tissues, the bones, the muscles, all of these things. And it is very important because if we ramp up our training load to quickly, then the musculoskeletal system often takes a hit. But the reason that happens oftentimes is because we're not able to fully recover from the load that we're placing on the body. It has a big tie into the nervous system.

Kevin:

All right, I wanna go back to your image of your circle comfort zone that you're inside of. Okay. sometimes it's nice to look outside of your comfort zone and see that you have a support system that is fully surrounding your comfort zone also. Yeah. So that when you step out,

Angie:

maybe they can help pull on the sides of it,

Kevin:

right? but they're out there. So when you step out, it, you can tell yourself, your body, your brain's gonna freak out. ah, I'm a little bit outside of my comfort zone. If you can recognize that there's other people out there

Angie:

Yeah. That

Kevin:

are there to support you outside of your comfort zone, it makes it just a slightly less frightening place and it allows the comfort zone to expand a little bit.

Angie:

Absolutely. And so you want your goals to be big For sure. Because when we set bigger goals, it's asking you to expand. And expansion is the goal, right? we all want to grow as people. We wanna grow as runners. We wanna be able to do things that we've never been able to do before. And we also need to recognize that these big goals, especially if they're very big goals. Create subconscious resistance in your brain, in your nervous system. So whether or not you realize it or not, maybe on like consciously, you are like, yes, I'm all in. I can do this. But subconsciously that 95% of your brain is yeah, I don't know about this. This seems a little. It seems a little dangerous. Like it's a great metaphor. Like the movie Inside Out. Yes.

Kevin:

I was gonna say, it's that purple guy he's coming up.

Angie:

Yeah. Fear comes up. And he might not always be the loudest one, but he's there and running the show a lot more than we realize.

Kevin:

he, even if he's not running the show, he's talking constantly.

Angie:

Yeah.

Kevin:

Like he's always there worrying in the corner. When things get difficult, suddenly his little quiet voice in the corner grabs the microphone.

Angie:

Yeah. And that's when you know the stress load gets too big when you're not recovering enough and your body. Doesn't know what to do. And when your system, when your nervous system gets overloaded, that's when oftentimes it shuts down. People experience burnout. People experience lack of motivation. They don't, just don't understand why they can't motivate themselves to get out. They experience injuries because they're not recovering properly. It's not that you just need to be pushing yourself all the time. And again, I think this is where so many runners get it wrong because we as runners are built to push ourselves. We love challenges. We love pushing ourselves. We love to be like, yeah, I'm going to do it. You're gonna say, I can't, but I'm gonna do it anyway. But. Your body needs to trust you in order to really give you the results that you want, because willpower lasts for a short amount of time, but you still need the consistency and the sustainability to continue for. Really the long haul.

Kevin:

Yeah. Actually building a brick wall of consistency where you can look back and be like, look, I've put in this much work is a whole lot more stable than just grided out with willpower. Like that does break down much faster than an actually carefully built brick wall of result upon result. Even if it's small results of no. That result was, I did 30 minutes of cardio. that's a brick that you can go back and look and say, Hey, look, I did that. I've got the results.

Angie:

And those actions reinforce your identity. And the identity is something that you all know we've talked a lot about here on the podcast, but that is really your filter that helps to keep your goals the right size for you or to take those bigger goals and break them down into goals that you feel safe and you feel comfortable pursuing. Because that's really. What it comes down to, and you have to think, okay, who do I wanna be in 2026? If I have these goals, who is the person that I need to be in order to achieve those goals? What would someone like me be doing on most of my days if I were someone that was able to do that thing? for example, you want to be able to run a half marathon. Maybe you wanna run your first half marathon. Okay? W take on the identity of a half marathoner before you actually run the half marathon. That's what it's going to require. So then you say, okay, I am a half marathoner. What would a half marathoner be doing most days in order to achieve that goal in 12 weeks, 16 weeks, 20 weeks, whatever it might be. Okay, I need to run four days a week. I need to strength train twice a week. I need to make sure that I'm getting eight hours of sleep. I need to make sure that I'm fueling my body correctly like you. And then you can start listing those actions. And then, like Kevin said, once you get, once you complete those actions. By you doing that thing, you are now reinforcing that identity that you have chosen for yourself. So it becomes a beautiful little circle. You say, this is the kind of person that I am. And then you start thinking like that person saying, okay, what would someone. Like me do if I was this person already, because I'm just going to choose to be that person. what am I gonna be thinking? What am I gonna be doing? What are those daily actions? Okay, now I'm gonna do those actions. And when I do those actions, it reinforces that chosen identity for myself.

Kevin:

Yes. And again, make sure that you're not jumping too far, too fast. Of okay. I am a half marathoner. if you're currently not running at all, just adopting the mindset of I am a half marathoner, I run four times a week. I strength teams twice a week. Might be a bridge that you need to get to. Yes. Like you need to reach those points. It

Angie:

is what you need to do, but you're, maybe you're not quite there yet. Yes. that's

Kevin:

all I wanna bring to that one is make sure that you are. You always look at this is the person that I would like to be in 2026, but this is also the person that I currently am. And it's not that you're completely changing it. You're evolving who you are into, who you're going to be in 2026. You can adopt their mindset. Yeah. You can look at when I've got this mindset, these are the actions I'm going to do, but these are also the steps that I have to take. Maybe I need January and February. To get myself to be able to consistently then do the actions that I would like to be able to be the person in 2026. It's just gonna take me a couple of months to get there. It might take you half a year to get there. It might take you 2026 to get there. Yeah. And that actually is the person you are in 2027.

Angie:

And that's okay. There's nothing wrong if you get the timeline wrong. And this is one of the things that was very hard for me to accept as well when I, started to get into my business journey and I hired a business coach and mentor. That was one thing that my business coach said all the time is, okay, I just got that timeline wrong.'cause it, people would always ask him, What does it mean though? I didn't achieve my goal. I failed at this thing. He's you didn't fail. You just got the timeline wrong. And it's so much more freeing when you think about it that way.'cause you're like, oh, okay. I didn't fail at the goal. I just didn't achieve that thing in the time that I had set, or the time that I thought it might take me to achieve that thing. It doesn't mean the goal is unattainable.

Kevin:

it. That's entirely correct. Running is a particularly tricky one because as the calendar flips, sometimes if your goals are time-based, goals are pace based goals. As the calendar flips, those times seem more difficult to achieve.

Angie:

But at the same time, those calendars, when the calendars flip over, then your BQ time gets slower too. That's right. So things adjust

Kevin:

every five, five years you hit a new window and

Angie:

then you jump into a new age bracket and all of a sudden you're at the top of your age bracket where before you weren't on the podium. Like it, it all evolves with you.

Kevin:

That is actually a really great way of putting it, is if, because so many people that's one of their like dream runner goals. Yeah. Is they hit a BQ and they're like, oh, I. I wasn't able to hit that and the times keep getting faster. I think they're dropping them again next year. The times just keep getting faster. Yeah, but every five years there's another thing. So if you can keep. If you can maintain that consistency, like the goal for your running career should be to maintain that consistency. So you're like, I didn't BQ in the like under 35 window. I didn't BQ in the under 40 window, but wait until I hit that 60 to 65 window because I. I've got so many years of consistency, I'm gonna crush that window.

Angie:

80 to 85 is always my goal. It's

Kevin:

always coming

Angie:

80 to 85, we're gonna start doing I should age group

Kevin:

track races. Maybe I

Angie:

should push it to 90 to 95. That is always my goal, right? Okay, so now you know that outcome-based goals are not what you wanna be setting your full resolution on. You wanna be focusing on process-based goals. You also now know that you don't want your process goals to be so big that it's so much of a jump from where you are to what goal you're trying to set for yourself, that it's going to cause you to be inconsistent, burnt out, and injured, right? You wanna meet yourself where you are and build up your process goals from there. And then the third big point is that. You. All of these goals need to also be rooted in your identity. You have to become the person that is able to achieve that goal first, and then use your actions to then reinforce that identity. So the key really is to create these identity rooted right sized process goals. That's a little bit of a mouthful, but we've got a simple framework for you. Okay. So step one is to choose your identity. So this year I am a runner who. Blank. So take a minute. Think about it. What kind of a runner do you wanna be this year? I am a runner who blank. Fill in the blank. So some examples, Kevin, you got some examples? I'm a runner who runs. A half marathon in under two hours. that sounds That's an outcome. That's an

Kevin:

outcome,

Angie:

right? But it's part of the goal that you wanna achieve. Or I'm a runner who trains consistently. I'm a runner who honors my body intentionally. I love those even more.

Kevin:

Yeah, those go a lot more towards process because you can,

Angie:

those go more towards identity too. They go

Kevin:

to the identity and most those guys, in order to hit the identity, you immediately have to hit the process. Yeah. Your first one, I'm a runner who

Angie:

values strength. I'm a strong runner. Like what kind of a runner do you wanna be? You can look at it that way too.

Kevin:

Yeah. I am a strong runner immediately says, what does that mean? What processes do I have to actually go through? In order to say, oh yeah, no, I am a strong runner.

Angie:

So after you figure out who you wanna be, the identity that you want, step two is to then ask the scaling question, which is, what is the smallest version of this that I can do consistently, that I know I'm going to be consistent with right now? We don't wanna jump to from one day a week to five days a week. Okay. Can I go from one day a week to two days a week? Can I go from one to three? Can I block out 30 minutes of my calendar every day to move my body, like Kevin was mentioning, right? Maybe those are not all runs or strength sessions or hard intensity. Maybe some of those are walks as well, but you're just out there moving your body. I am someone who consistently moves my body.

Kevin:

And that might be the smallest version of a lot of these things. if one of your goals is I'm a runner who consistently works out, the smallest version of that is actually creating the time within the day. In order to have the workout. Yeah. Not even doing the workout, because that's probably one of the things that may have held you back last year. Yeah. And let's be honest, the year before and the year before and the year before is, where do I fit the time? Life gets so busy. and that's where, what is the smallest version of this that I can do that I can say I'm consistently being successful with this goal.

Angie:

Yeah.

Kevin:

And then. You have to actually build in some flexibility.

Angie:

and then you build from there too, right? Like you build in that flexibility, you assume that life is going to happen and your schedule is gonna be disrupted and you're not gonna go crazy about it. Like it's, and this is why running streaks can often be a negative thing for a lot of people. This is why we like to think of, okay, sus success is not necessarily, I never missed a day. Success and consistency doesn't have to mean I did something every single day. It can means I stayed in the process. Regardless of all the other things that were thrown at me today.

Kevin:

Yeah. it's why I'm not the biggest fan of streaks. Yeah. I had a streak going at one point in time, and then I got sick and then I tried to run through sickness. And then I was like, now I'm still sick. Yeah. And it, it caused issues, Depending on, some people have running streaks and there's what they allowed to be a day that maintains the streak. If there's some leeway built into that, if there's some cushion built into that, sometimes you can maintain a streak.

Angie:

And, We did a streak challenge in inside our membership for the month of December, but the goal was to walk or run one mile per day. It wasn't that you had to run every single day, it was walk or run. So really the goal was movement. It was consistency with moving your body. And I love what you said too, Kev, about putting that time in your calendar because oftentimes that is one of the biggest. Objections that we hear from runners is that I don't have the time. And that's one thing that we as coaches cannot give you, right? You have to find the time. You have to make the time for the things that are important to you. We can tell you exactly what to do. We can tell you exactly how to make the time that you have the most effective. If you tell me I've got 30 minutes, that's it. It's a hard 30 minute window. Okay, great. We can tell you what to do to make that the most effective and. Also help to coach you and guide you to understand that if you have 30 minutes to work with, running a marathon is not the best goal for you because running a marathon does not match up with that constraint that you have placed on moving. If you only have 30 minutes to train per day and you're trying to run a marathon in four hours, five hours, six hours, it's gonna require a lot more than 30 minutes a day of training, right? So you also have to make sure that your goals are aligned with. Your life and with the amount of time that you want to devote to your training.

Kevin:

that's where the scaling question and reality come together. Yes. What's the smallest version of this? I can do consistently? If you're looking at that and you're like, this is actually what I can consistently do, is that going to give you a shot at the. Outcome that you're going for. I know we, we said let's get some process goals in here.

Angie:

Yeah.

Kevin:

But it's okay to have both of them. Yes. But if you, there's nothing

Angie:

wrong with outcome goals. They're great. They just can't be the only thing.

Kevin:

So if you have your process goals and you look at, okay, if I succeed at my process goal, is it gonna get me anywhere near my outcome goal If it won't. That's not a great outcome goal, right? That's gonna be like a disheartening outcome goal because you can be successful at the process and still not be. It. It doesn't seem like you're making progress towards the big outcome goal because there

Angie:

were, they weren't aligned.

Kevin:

Yeah, because you're not, if you're not making. Progress toward that, then lean into the process and be like, alright, with this process what could I be successful at? Yeah. And then maybe from that, maybe this is what I really want to be successful at. This is the process that if I do these things, I will be really satisfied with my training. What does that actually set me up for? And then maybe from there you could reach for an outcome goal.

Angie:

Yeah. I love that. It's okay, how much time do I have? Or how much time do I want to vote devote to this? What's the process look like? That will make me feel good about that. And then from there I can then choose an outcome goal. So that's a cool way to look at it too, is to. Essentially reverse engineer your outcome goals based on the time and the process that you wanna put in.

Kevin:

you can go the other direction, you can start with an outcome. Yeah. But then you have to break it down to a process uhhuh, and then honestly look at the process and be like, yes, I want to do that. Because if you break it down to a process and you look at it and you're like, not a chance, that looks awful. Then that's not a good outcome goal.

Angie:

exactly. But it is important too that when you take those outcome goals and you're like, okay, what's gonna be required for me to run a hundred miles or run a marathon, run a half marathon? Oh, that's gonna require running and strength training these people on the podcast. So I also have to strength train in order to do these things, but that doesn't sound so fun. Okay, how am I gonna do this? Either you find something that's gonna make it a little bit. More enjoyable or at least tolerable so that you can do the thing.'cause that's the other thing too, is not every piece of the process has to be enjoyable. Some of the process you just have to do sometimes.

Kevin:

That is very true. Sometimes lifting weights is more enjoyable if the two of us are together. As long as that was,

Angie:

that's been fun.

Kevin:

Yes. Because I told you very clearly that I would like to have no commentary on my lifting.

Angie:

But I commented on it today, but it was only in a positive way. Was that good or no?

Kevin:

I don't even remember what you said, so I'm gonna say I told you

Angie:

how strong you were. Big strong man.

Kevin:

That's not even commenting on my lifting.

Angie:

Okay.

Kevin:

Your squat could go a little deeper. Is commenting on my lifting? Oh, when you bench press, it should touch your chest. That's commenting on my lifting and I take all of these very. painfully. So that's why I sometimes don't enjoy lifting with you, but it's been great the last few days,

Angie:

so maybe that's a piece you could work on. Yes. Not taking it personally, because I obviously don't mean it personally. I try, I'm just trying to help you so that your lifts will be more effective, but I have. Not said anything,

Kevin:

and I really have tried to not take them personal for years. Yeah.

Angie:

so now you, you make it sound like I've been like, critical of you. You're not doing okay. We've never bare heavily, hardly ever lifted together. Let's

Kevin:

be very clear. Angie's not critical at all. It is. I, I

Angie:

am, let's not be, let's not lie to the people. I can definitely be critical, but I'm not over your lifting.

Kevin:

Not during my lifting. It's. Just, I don't enjoy the lifting. Yeah. And so any comment that Angie makes? I take it as criticism of it.

Angie:

Yeah. it's not me being critical, but it's, in the past when I have commented on it, it's been more like form corrections to try to help it make it more effective or at least to make sure you don't get hurt.

Kevin:

Yes. Which I hear is straight criticism.

Angie:

Yeah. That's obviously, it's

Kevin:

definitely not how it's intended.

Angie:

No, definitely not. But so I am. Closing off one of my natural things.'cause like anytime I lift with somebody, I, my goal is to always help and to educate. And I have learned, and this really goes with a lot of different areas in my life where, I've learned, especially as I age, that sometimes people don't want my input and that's okay. So I keep my mouth shut and so I. Will say, okay, I'm gonna keep my mouth shut, and so that Kevin wants to lift with me, and then down the road if he ever does want feedback on his lifts to make things feel better or more effective or whatnot. And I honestly haven't even seen him do anything wrong, per se. So

Kevin:

per se,

Angie:

no, I hate to say right or wrong, but like I haven't noticed any, there's been nothing that I've noticed in the last couple of days that I've had to hold back. Does that make sense? The amount

Kevin:

of air quotes she made during that last sentence. Oh, stop. It was through the roof.

Angie:

It was not But my point is, okay, I'm going to, just get you into the routine of lifting with me again. And then if you ever do want feedback, then maybe you'll be open to it down the road and maybe you won't. And that's okay too, because I'm enjoying the process of lifting with you.

Kevin:

I've gotten three lifts in the last week. This is fantastic. I

Angie:

know it is. Especially because we can't run together, because people always ask, oh, do you guys run together? And it's yeah, not a chance. Kevin is way faster than me. But we can live together and we have our. Nice little home gym now that we can both fit and I keep expanding the floor, the, footprint of the home gym and making it bigger so that we have more room.

Kevin:

Yeah. Your car's never going back in the garage. Yeah, I don't

Angie:

think so. I thought that I would like to keep my car in the garage, but I have a feeling I was even thinking about it today. I was like, maybe I should just put down gym flooring in the entire garage.

Kevin:

Yeah. I think that you would prefer that and you're gonna live with your car being outside.

Angie:

Yeah. I was thinking about if I wanted to rearrange things and move the treadmill just so that like my videos could be better. Also, like when I film some of the strength training videos for inside the membership and the different strength programs that I'm creating.

Kevin:

I don't know. You're expanding the footprint of the gym during the dry season down here.

Angie:

That's true. And

Kevin:

so you haven't quite dealt with it's a monsoon outside. It would be so nice if my car was in the garage.

Angie:

Yeah, but luckily we don't have to deal with snow, so that's really nice. But we do have a cold snap coming this week, so that's gonna be a little frigid around here. It's gonna

Kevin:

be bitterly cold in the upper fifties. Watch out for falling

Angie:

iguanas. That is what our weathermen down here say. Those of you that aren't familiar with tropical climates, with stupid iguanas, the iguanas, basically they go into hibernation when the temperature gets too cold. And if they. If the temperature stays cold enough for an extended period of time, they just essentially freeze and fall out of trees.

Kevin:

Yes. So watch

Angie:

out for falling iguanas. But

Kevin:

then if it gets warm enough the next day, they'll just look like a dead iguana on the ground and then they'll warm up. And then they'll run away. Yeah. It's so gross. Which is super creepy.

Angie:

It's so creepy. Kev, do you have any goals that you wanna share or resolutions or anything before we wrap up today?

Kevin:

I'm gonna run the year.

Angie:

Are you, I

Kevin:

did it this year. How many

Angie:

miles did you run this year?

Kevin:

I broke 2000 again this year. I didn't sweet the year before. I had a low the year before, but but

Angie:

a hundred mile train will do that for you. A

Kevin:

hundred mile training will do that for you. it was tricky. I didn't crush it. I, my biggest year was a. Few years back. I had a really big one, but this last spring I coached track again, which makes the spring months lower mileage. Like one I'm recovering from racing a hundred. Yeah. And two, I don't have as much time to work with.

Angie:

Yeah. So you're gonna run the year again?

Kevin:

Yeah. Okay. that's what I got. I'm gonna increase my strength training.

Angie:

Yay.

Kevin:

I ha it comes in waves over the years, so I'm gonna try and have fewer waves and more just Steadiness. It's not that I don't strength train. It's that it, there's, that's ups and downs.

Angie:

well, and when you do strength train, oftentimes it's not necessarily lifting heavy, like you'll get the movements in, right? you'll do more body weight stuff, or No. N

Kevin:

No. When I lift, I tend to lift what I can lift.

Angie:

Oh, okay. I just,'cause sometimes it's only been recently since you've started using our home gym, so I guess I don't know what you do at school sometimes.

Kevin:

I put big, heavy weights on and pick them up and put them down.

Angie:

like how often you're actually in the gym at school?

Kevin:

I, it depends, like I said, it comes in waves. Yeah. and during cross country season, we were able to make that work. Like the kids would go off on a run. Sometimes that'd hit the gym. Sometimes they wouldn't, because there were three coaches and sometimes we'd all get chatty.

Angie:

Yeah. So

Kevin:

what do you got? You got goals for the year. I do. Things that you wanna share with us.

Angie:

I do. I think I want to increase my running a bit this year and I want to run like my first official trail race. so I've been starting to look into some of those a bit. I want to get myself actually signed up for one of those. I we've been talking about like inside our membership with our members doing a, a. Ragnar Relay, like a trail, Ragnar would be really fun. So I'm looking at some of those and just basically wanna find some dates that are gonna work because we've got a very busy schedule with our girls, so we wanna make sure that it all works around our family time. but yeah, those are some of the goals that I'm, I've been thinking of. So I don't have anything set in stone yet. or

Kevin:

running on dirt is what you're thinking.

Angie:

Yeah, I like running, trail running. Sounds really fun and intriguing to me. yes. Or like some out school horse races or something like that. All we do is

Kevin:

run on sidewalk and pavement. Yeah,

Angie:

like it's just, it's fine. I do it like I'm very consistent with my training, but it's just boring. So I think that it'd be fun to go explore. I love going out into nature and exploring on foot, and so why not put a race in there and do some running with it?

Kevin:

Excellent. Sounds like your great plan. Sounds

Angie:

like a good plan. We would just invite you as this new year starts of 2026, to just think about what kind of goals and resolutions, whatever you wanna call them, that you want to set for yourself, because this year doesn't necessarily need bigger, huge, outlandish types of goals. If you wanna set a big goal, fantastic. And it's also important to make sure that you set it with the process in mind and with kindness to yourself in mind. You don't always have to do more to become more, you have to just keep showing up because consistency is always going to win over intensity no matter what. I guess I shouldn't say no matter what because there are things that do. Require intensity. But when you're choosing between consistency and intensity for the best long-term sustainable results, consistency beats intensity every time.

Kevin:

Yeah. when you're looking to place in your age group in the 80 to 85 category, then consistency is definitely beating intensity.

Angie:

Amen. So who do you wanna be this year? What kind of fun things do you want to accomplish this year, and what are the process goals that you can set to make those things a reality? And if you need help, you guys know we love supporting runners inside of our membership. We can help you achieve. Whatever goal you want, we help runners to run five Ks run and just stay consistent with running and strength training all the way to ultra marathons, and I should say ultra marathons and beyond. But ultimately an ultra's an ultra once you get past 26.2. and

Kevin:

you're at 26.3. It's an ultra.

Angie:

Yeah. But also no matter your age, we've got people. In their forties, fifties, sixties, reaching for big things, setting new goals, stretching themselves, growing. So you're never too old. It's never too late. You just need the right system and the right support, and we have that inside the Real Life Runners membership. So we'd love to invite you to check it out over@realliferunners.com slash team. and we've got like a 30 day program that you can start with. There's, we have a whole pathway and all of the plans that we have inside of our membership are personalized for you. We help you find a plan, figure out a plan that's going to be best for you. That includes running and strength training because you have to do both, but it does so in a way that they are put together and. Fit into your life. So check it out over there and you can always email us if you have any questions. If you're not sure if it's a good fit for you, just email us over at hello@realliferunners.com and we're happy to answer any questions that you have. So as always, thanks for joining us. This has been The Real Life Runners podcast, episode number 442. Now, get out there and run your life and happy New Year.