440: Before You Set New Goals: What Your Running Year Actually Revealed

As runners, it’s so easy to look back on a year and immediately zoom in on what didn’t go as planned — the missed runs, the injuries, the goals we didn’t hit. In this episode, we slow things down and invite you into a different kind of reflection — one rooted in curiosity, compassion, and growth rather than judgment.

We guide you through a thoughtful process to reflect on your year in running, helping you notice both the visible wins and the quieter moments that shaped you along the way. Instead of asking, “Was this a good year or a bad year?” we explore more meaningful questions like:
What supported you? What challenged you? What did your body and mind teach you?

You’ll be prompted with reflective questions designed to help you:

• Celebrate the wins you might be overlooking
• Learn from setbacks without attaching shame or frustration
• Recognize patterns in your training, recovery, and mindset
• Understand what truly helped you stay consistent (and what didn’t)

We also talk about the importance of separating who you are as a runner from any single race, pace, or performance — and how identity-based intentions can create more sustainable motivation and joy moving forward.

This episode isn’t about setting rigid goals or forcing a fresh start. It’s about integration — taking the lessons from this year and carrying them forward in a way that feels supportive, intentional, and aligned with the runner you want to continue becoming.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, disappointed, or unsure about how to move into a new season of running, this conversation will help you reflect with clarity, confidence, and self-trust.

🎧 Tune in, grab a notebook (or go for an easy run), and let’s reflect — together.

02:10 Acknowledging Emotions and Comparisons

02:59 The Impact of Aging on Running Performance

04:40 The Role of Judgment in Running

07:51 Reflection vs. Judgment

11:38 Mental Load and Its Effects on Performance

17:25 Integrating Reflection into Future Training

22:30 Consistency and Success in Running

24:14 Guided Reflection Questions for Runners

24:41 Reflecting on a Challenging Year

26:03 Adapting Training for Age and Health

27:00 Learning from Personal Experiences

32:16 Effective Trainin

Join the 30 Day Running Reset and get a plan that will help you build a strong and injury-proof body by combining running and strength training in a way that actually works for runners like you.

Gain access to my new secret podcast, Unbreakable: The Runner's Guide To Injury-Proofing Your Body After 40. Click here: https://www.realliferunners.com/secret

Join the Team! --> https://www.realliferunners.com/team

Thanks for Listening!!

Be sure to hit FOLLOW on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast player

Leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Your ratings and reviews really help and we read each one!

Come find us on Instagram and say hi!

Don't forget: The information on this website is not intended to treat or diagnose any medical condition or to provide medical advice. It is intended for general education in the areas of health and wellness. All information contained in this site is intended to be educational in nature. Nothing should be considered medical advice for your specific situation.

Transcript

Angie: 0:00

This is the time of year when runners start quietly judging themselves. Maybe they scroll back through their training logs, they remember the races that didn't quite go as planned, and they land on one thought I should have done more. Or maybe you're someone who has had a really great year in your running and you're super happy about what you've been able to accomplish, but maybe you're worried that you're not gonna be able to continue that. Or maybe you're. A little bit of both. So today we're gonna go through our training year. We're gonna do a little bit of reflection to help you figure out what went well this year, what didn't go so well, and what you want to take with you into the year ahead. So stay tuned. What's up runners? Welcome back to the show. It's a reflection episode and I love doing reflection episodes.

Kevin: 1:04

I know it's like we should have a journal here so that we can just have some journaling time.

Angie: 1:08

I know. I agree. Just

Kevin: 1:09

pause in the middle and we can just have a quiet, I don't know if that makes for a great podcast, the two of us just quietly journaling here, but I feel like,

Angie: 1:16

that's what our workshop is for. We're actually doing a yearend workshop with our team next week, so if you guys wanna be a part of that, all you have to do is join the team because we have. Workshops every month, and we are actually going to be doing a yearend workshop. This is one of our members' favorite workshops because we get to reflect on the past year and then also set goals for the follow the coming year.

Kevin: 1:36

It's one of my favorite workshops because without it, I would not actually put in this work and it's so worthwhile. Yeah, I love doing it, but I need a little push in that direction. That's where you come in.

Angie: 1:47

That's where I come in and, which is funny, and I'm gonna just go ahead and make a very big. Admittance right now of as much as I love leading people through journaling, it's not something that I do as frequently as I want to, and I want to definitely be better about that next year. And that's a good segue and lead into our episode here today because I think that a lot of times. We know these things that we want to do or that we quote unquote should be doing. You guys know, I don't like the word should because I think that should is just could layered in shame and we should stop shoulding all over ourselves because really it's just leading to more shame and guilt, which is no, those are not good emotions that we wanna really have driving our actions and driving the bus of our lives. When we look back on our year, there's a lot of people that might not be very happy about what transpired over the course of the year, and maybe others of you are very happy and you feel like you're growing and you're getting faster and your endurance is improving and all the good things. And then there's probably a lot of people somewhere in the middle. But I think it's really important for us to, at this point, acknowledge some of those feelings that we have. Both quote unquote good and quote unquote bad. I say put quotes are on those because emotions are neither good or bad. They just are different areas of the spectrum. But we wanna acknowledge, okay, do I feel slower? Did I miss some goals? Did I have some injuries or some inconsistencies? Am I comparing this year to past versions of myself? And I know that I have done this year already, so I'm guessing that probably you have too, especially if you're a runner. Over 40 and you're noticing that your body's changing and things aren't feeling the same, and maybe your results like running's just not feeling as good as it used to, then maybe you're going through a lot of these things.

Kevin: 3:30

it's really hard to not have that comparison like you've hit the end of the year, so you're gonna be like, these are the times I put up this year. These are the times I put up the year before. And if you're up in Strava, you've got all these times given to you. I am not. but I'm under the impression that there is a year in review that Strava gives you that is probably gonna then compare what you did this year to the previous year and let you know where the things are going up or down. It's hard to not have the comparison and if you're like, oh, the times are getting slower, there's clear objective numbers, and you're like, oh, I don't feel good'cause I can clearly see that my time didn't get as fast. But you may have had growth in areas that your 5K time, your half marathon time is not as. Showing like there is area, there's always areas for growth. There's always things that are going up. there are people that might be looking back at the year and saying, this was not my best year, more of a negative year. There are people that are saying this a positive year. I'd argue that everybody has ups and downs. It's just a matter on which part of your training you are actually focused on.

Angie: 4:27

I agree, and I think that it also is, which one is more recent as well? if you had a very strong start to your year, but maybe the second half of your year. Didn't go as well. And that's where we are right now. That's going to be in your more immediate memory. So those are the things that you're probably gonna be focusing on more than maybe some of the wins that you had earlier on in the year.

Kevin: 4:48

Oh sure. You have a marathon PR in like April, but you just did poorly at the Turkey trot and you're like, oh man, this was a terrible racing year. no, it wasn't you had a poor race at a Turkey trial. that's actually what happened. But there's recency bias.

Angie: 5:00

And so what we wanna do today is just go into some reflection and try to remove judgment here because I think that a lot of us tend to slide right into judgment when we start to look at things, especially when we have very obvious numbers as runners. It's very easy to make some of these comparisons. So we really want to normalize both sides, like so those of you that are listening, that maybe feels. Slower or more tired or beat up, like your experience is very valid and let's figure out what was going on so that you can improve upon that for next year. And then there might be some of you listening that feel stronger and more confident and more consistent. Fantastic. Let's celebrate that and also figure out what went well for you so that we can take that into next year. So this episode is really no matter what side of the spectrum or where along the spectrum you are, it's about reflect. Without judgment, and that's what's going to help you move forward year after year as a runner, because if you are someone that feels amazing right now. And you're looking back and you're like, man, this year was fantastic, but you don't actually take the time to reflect on some of the specifics of what was actually working for you, what, what is actually working for you. Then repeating that same level of success becomes less likely. It's very important no matter where you are on that spectrum, that you take the time to reflect on what worked and what didn't work so that you know how to grow and where you can go from here. But most of us. When we start to look at these things, we often default to judgment even after a good year, because you all probably know as a runner, you've had that experience where you've crossed the finish line and you probably, like you ran a PR and then there was that little boy say in your brain that was like. Oh, but I could have done it faster. oh, but if I didn't take that little walking break or if I would've just pushed a little bit harder, I probably could have done it faster. So even when you are succeeding and getting the good things and the results that you want, there's always that little part of you that's yeah, but I could have probably. Been better. that,

Kevin: 7:03

that's the issue with an event that's so inherently intrinsically connected to the clock. Like when you go across the finish line and the clock actually pops up a number, you can be like, I could have taken off a 10th of a second. the people who are aiming to break two hours and a half marathon and you run two hours in one second, somewhere over those last two hours, you could have shaved a second off and you know it, and if you can make that one, you can then do that at. Any other time I was just listening to a podcast. They were talking about, highly Giber ssi. He said like 27 different world records. And the first marathon that he ran, he set the world record. And his first thing, after crossing the finish line, his first statement, upon reflecting back at the world record, he just set the world record where he was. Fastest human to ever cover that distance was, I could have done that faster. And he was the fastest person to have done that in history. And his first reflection was, I could have done that faster. And it's not like he was like imposter syndrome, nope. Multiple world record holder, several gold medals. I could have done that faster.

Angie: 8:02

Yeah, because the brain. Defaults to judgment. This is really a very automatic human response because the brain wants closure. And when we are in this like end of year trigger evaluation mode, or like Gabriel ssi, like you just mentioned, he was finishing something like he had been training for this race. He wanted to break the world record and he did it. That's closure and our brain loves closure, but. When as soon as we get closure, as soon as we start to find it, we automatically go to judgment because our brain is wired for survival. And so when we evaluate things, our brain is always scanning for threats of what went wrong here? What could I have done better? what? Like where did I fail? Because this is just how our brain is wired. There's something called the negativity bias, and our brain is wired for finding those negative things to help keep us safe and keep us alive. And Knowing that is very helpful because that's one of the reasons why your brain defaults to judgment. And so this becomes even more apparent when we are over 40. Maybe you're in your forties, fifties, sixties, and you start to think, oh, I used to be faster. My body's feeling differently. I'm working harder than I ever have before, but I'm slower than I ever have been before too. And this can create so much grief and frustration that often turns into self-judgment.

Kevin: 9:21

at the last race that the two of us did together, the school, 5K, there were a couple of runners in their eighties who crossed the finish line, and I was, I briefly chatted with them at the breakfast afterwards. and they were talking about how, yeah, no, we used to be faster and I wasn't even pushing myself all that hard today. I just. I really wanted to go out and enjoy the experience and there was another race that I had done earlier this year and I pushed myself on that one. And both of them had this just like ca, such a casual, like interesting approach to racing of should I push myself today? Eh. I'm really more for the atmosphere today. And they could flip in and out of being competitive or not competitive because they knew they were certainly capable of covering the distance. And it was really just a conscious choice of how much do I wanna push myself today? And I think this is another trap that we fall into of if I didn't get the time, I wasn't as fit. I used to be faster, but maybe. The circumstances around this race also did not set you up in order to get a very good time. Maybe you came into the race without a high level of motivation and now you're trying to compare that to a previous time where there was super high levels of motivation and you're like, oh, I'm definitely slowing down. It's are you, or is the motivation to push really hard in a race when it gets painful lessening because that is also happening? I know that's happening to me.

Angie: 10:38

Yeah, it's definitely happening to me too, and I felt that in our. 5K last weekend. We do, like our school hosts a 5K. The high school that Kevin and I coach at, we host a 5K every, December. And I definitely noticed that in myself of just like this, the desire to push myself to that point was definitely lower in my time. Reflected that I ran slower this year than I, I maybe ever have o other than, like post babies, when I was run running with a stroller. But I think that there's some really important things that we need to acknowledge here too. Because if you are someone over 40, and especially if you're a woman, and I say this because I am a woman and I understand all of the things that we are dealing with, and I've. I talked to Kevin about this recently too, and told him how much he doesn't understand'cause he's a man. but I think it's important for us to acknowledge because, not to say that men don't have the same mental load as women, but men don't have the same mental load as women. I'm just gonna say it. Yeah. I in fact, I am just going to say it because that's how, that's what I believe

Kevin: 11:44

not to say, but in fact, what I'm actually going to say is, yeah.

Angie: 11:48

But anyway, but either way. But you carry a very, a big mental load too. I, it's just, it's different. I don't think we need to keep score here, but,

Kevin: 11:57

but Angie's winning what we need to,

Angie: 11:59

what we need to acknowledge is that th this chronic stress and this mental load that we all carry. Leads to higher levels of stress in the body. And as we continue to get older, we, especially as women, we don't have the same hormonal support and the same buffers for stress that we used to have. And when we have these higher levels of stress, what actually happens, which is wild, is that it lowers our perceived competence. So when we have so many things going on, it's oh God, I'm just failing at all of it. And I know that this is one of the things that I have been feeling lately is because. When your nervous system is dysregulated, everything just feels like a failure. And have you noticed that I've been like talking about this a lot more like with myself because Yes. Yeah. and it's something that's very weird for me because typically. I think in general, I'm a pretty regulated person and I typically look at the positive side of things. I can usually see a silver lining with most things, and lately just the, especially the past couple of weeks, I don't know if it's the holidays and all of the other things that we've got going on, because life is very busy right now, just feels Oh my gosh. There's just so much and I'm feeling like more negative. And I think that's because of some of the hormonal changes that I'm experienced as a woman in my mid forties, plus all of these other life things. Like the world is a dumpster fire right now. And when you start to add all of those things on top of a nervous system that or is already overloaded, it can become very. Overwhelming.

Kevin: 13:32

it makes it really difficult in the back half of a 5K to be like, why am I pushing? What's the point?

Angie: 13:37

That's definitely what my brain was saying,

Kevin: 13:39

okay, so will you talk about the mental load? Yeah. And you say that my mental load is less. How many various cha like difficult, challenging thoughts were you dealing with while racing a 5K? I

Angie: 13:50

don't know how I can count that many.

Kevin: 13:52

Okay. I had jingle bells stuck in my head. I was dealing with the mental load of the Frank Sinatra version of Jingle Bells, like j and GLE Bells. I had that Uhhuh on loop Uhhuh. That was my mental load.

Angie: 14:05

So is that a lot? Are you saying or not a lot?

Kevin: 14:08

No, I'm saying that was the only thing that I was dealing with. I had no other intrusive thoughts other than that was the only sound I had going through my head.

Angie: 14:16

I had a lot more than that. I dunno how many, but I will tell you I had a lot more than that. And and when I did cross the finish line, there was judgment, that did come along with that, with my results. And so what I'm trying to help you understand. Is that you are not just judging yourself because you failed or because your time wasn't as fast as it used to be. You're judging yourself oftentimes because your system is tired, your nervous system, your physical system, like your whole body and mind are tired. And oftentimes when we are tired. We have less buffer, right? Like we, we tolerate less things. I know that. think about it, like when you're tired and your kids are fighting, like you're not gonna tolerate it as much.

Kevin: 15:01

No. You're snapping at'em real quick, right? there's a very short fuse. Yeah.

Angie: 15:05

And so if you have that. Chronically and you're just chronically overloaded and chronically dysregulated, then you're gonna be judging yourself all the time, even in your running. And oftentimes when we struggle like thinking, I should have done more, or I fell off, or I didn't show up enough, that's going to lead to that self-criticism. the struggle is going to lead to more self-criticism.'cause we oftentimes. Blame ourselves and we're like, it's my fault. I should have done more. I could have been more consistent, I could should have done all of these different things. And so I think it's easy to see on that end of things. But the thing that's interesting too is that success can also trigger judgment. So even runners that have had a great year. Can often think, can I keep this up? Was this a fluke? Or what if next year isn't as good? You're already putting pressure on yourself to maintain or improve upon the thing that you already did instead of just enjoying what you already did.

Kevin: 16:01

Yeah, that was me crossing the finish line is right afterwards, I broke 17 for the 5K and one of my early thoughts was, how many more years am I actually going to be able to break 17 minutes because I didn't do it last year. there was a ridiculous headwind that I blame on the time and if you look at my pacing chart, it really was pretty much the wind's fault. Yeah. which is why wind is the worst. I will continue. waving that flag. Yeah.

Angie: 16:23

there's a lot of people that messaged us and agreed with you. A hundred percent agree

Kevin: 16:26

with me. Yes. but I'm not sure how many more years I've got, like there's a point where age is, we talk about age is a number. Yeah. It's a number that makes the numbers on the clock tend to grow. So I'm not sure how many more times I'm going to be able to do it. And the high school kids around are getting fast and at some point there's going to be a student that can probably beat me and. It's a thing that gets brought up at the end of every year as the race gets closer, the students start asking, Ms. Brown, what do you think? Are any of the students gonna beat me? And I knew this year I could beat everybody on campus, but how many more years do I have that is a, that's a thought that is constantly in my head heading to this race.

Angie: 17:03

Right? And so that shows you right there that no matter if it's. Something that you think you failed at or something that you succeeded at? Kevin's goal was to break 17. He did that. He succeeded. The judgment itself isn't about results. It's about uncertainty. It's about the uncertainty of what's, what lies ahead and what. You are going to be able to do. And it's also the uncertainty of what if I would've done X, Y, and Z this year? What could I have accomplished? So there's an uncertainty there as well.

Kevin: 17:35

Yeah. It's not just like disappointment in what you didn't accomplish, it's an uncertainty in what you could have possibly accomplished. What did I leave on the table? Because my training didn't match up with my hopes for my training.

Angie: 17:45

Exactly. And so what we wanna Move into now is helping to guide you guys like the difference between reflection and judgment, and this is a really important distinction because reflection serves everyone. No matter if you had a great year or not the best year, you are going to benefit by reflecting. Now judgment pretty much serves no one, right? Judgment sounds like minimizing your wins. It's oh yeah, I did that, but I could have gone faster or I should have run longer, or I could have done this, or I could have done that. Like you're minimizing the wins that you did have. It's also looks like fixating on what wasn't perfect. I know that you, Kevin, actually that was, last year when you were doing your training runs for your a hundred mile in January and like your training runs last holiday season, like in November and December did not go the way you wanted them to. it kept getting sick.

Kevin: 18:40

this year was a fantastic win. I didn't get drastically sick for Thanksgiving.

Angie: 18:43

Which is great, but there was probably things along the way that were not perfect and not exactly the way that you would hope that they were.

Kevin: 18:50

Yeah, I think in general, I've, I. One of my big wins on the year is that I've had a little bit more structure to what I wanted to accomplish, but structure with the flexibility built in. So I feel like I've generally trained better through the fall cross country season, and then move from that into the winter. it's an idea of. I mean it's what you've got sitting here next on the outline is not just moving into what do I do next? This went poorly, what goes next? But actually pausing and trying to think about what may have gone well, what may have not gone perfectly. Trying to integrate what's gone previously well for you in the past. Tying it all together and not just plowing forward into the next thing.

Angie: 19:34

Exactly, and that's really where integration comes in because when you reflect, you're trying to integrate the things that actually did happen and make them a part of you and your story and take the wins and take the benefits and the things that. You did so that you can then use those same things again for next time.

Kevin: 19:52

I, you made a very good statement there of taking the things that did happen, not the things that you hoped happened, but taking the positives from the things that did happen and integrating them into your future training.

Angie: 20:05

Yeah. Yeah. So judgment sounds like, I should have done this. I messed this up. I wasn't disciplined enough. Next year, I have to do better. Those are all. Things that judgment would say, reflection, and this is where we want you guys to move into. Looks like naming things that worked. So regardless of the results that you had, there's probably something that went well. Maybe it was consistency. Maybe you had a schedule that really worked well for you. Maybe you were consistently running three days a week, four days a week, maybe you finally became consistent with strength training. After listening to the Real Life Runners podcast and realizing just how critical and essential strength training is, you finally became. Consistent with your strength training.

Kevin: 20:48

That was beautifully, shouted from the rooftop. I like that. I wish we had the video going because the fist was pumping and everything. that was dynamic. you could,

Angie: 20:56

you could tell with the voice. Yeah. The voice changed there. I felt like I was in Rome, like in gladiator or something.

Kevin: 21:02

do we get thumbs up or thumbs down on that one? No,

Angie: 21:04

I'm always a thumbs up. All right. naming what worked Okay. Regardless, like I said, of the. Actual result or the outcome, find what worked for you. It's then taking that and understanding why it worked. Okay. You were able to do strength training. Why? Why this year were you finally consistent with your strength training? Maybe you joined a coaching program and actually got strength workouts that were planned out for you. Maybe you. Got a home gym, you decided to actually invest and purchase some equipment. Maybe you invested and joined a gym, so now you have a place to go, and you made friends at the gym and now you have motivation to go to the gym too. So why did those things work for you and then. Anchoring in that success. So it's repeatable, okay? You have to anchor it in as a part of you, as a part of your story so that you can then take that success and repeat it. So reflection sounds like, what did this year show me what worked and why, what didn't work? And what did it cost me? Or what could I have done in the that situation? Not what should I have done, but what could I have done differently? Reflection also looks like what does my body need now? maybe you've been chasing a goal that doesn't really light you up anymore, or doesn't really align with what you want for you and your life and your body anymore, and that's okay. And I think that's all part of reflection here too.

Kevin: 22:31

Yeah, I think the biggest thing on this is not just saying this went well, but this went well. Why was it able to actually go it's the why part that most people skip through. It's why people suggest that, success is a poor teacher. Like failure is a better teacher because most people are so busy celebrating the success or immediately looking to the next thing instead of taking the. The pause to think about why that was actually successful, especially if consistency was your success. What was it that happened that led to the consistency? Because if consistency is your win and you're like, I was more consist this year, but I wasn't seeing a lot of great prs. But if you can lean into the consistency and figure out why you were consistent and be able to keep that up for another year, that is more likely to lead to greater levels of success.

Angie: 23:17

but say you were able to achieve a lot of really great results and great wins this year. Also ask yourself why that was. Maybe you were able to hit new prs and run longer distances or faster times, and. You think back and you're like, okay, what was different here? Maybe the answer was consistency. Maybe that was not necessarily the win. Your win were the results and the prs, but the consistency is what allowed you to get those things. Maybe you've been more consistent this year with all of it. Than you have been in the past. Maybe you were more consistent with your nutrition. Maybe you were more consistent with your sleep or your hydration, right? Think back and reflect on the things that led you to what you were able to do during the whole year. Because reflection takes both of your struggles and your successes and turns them into wisdom. And wisdom is what is going to help drive you into being able to continue this in years ahead.

Kevin: 24:14

Yeah, reflection's the key.'cause if you just are leaning in towards judgment, it just shuts down the ability to learn anything. Whereas reflection actually says, Hey, I want to figure out how to get better off of this. Judgment says, I don't care. I just need to move past it and move forward. I'm gonna plow through and not learn anything from it. I'm just moving forward. Reflection says, how can I get better?

Angie: 24:35

All right. So with that in mind, we are now going to talk to two different groups here. And I'm guessing that some of you are probably in both groups or somewhere in the middle. But we're gonna lead you through some reflection questions. And so if you are driving, obviously may, you can come back to this later. If you're out on a run, come back to this later. so right now I'm gonna just gonna say we're at minute mark. 25. 25. actually that's what our recording is. But then there's an intro and some music, but it's around the 25 to 26 minute mark. So come back here. So if this year felt hard, I want you to hear this because you might not realize this if this year felt hard to you and you think back on the year as a whole and you're like, yeah, overall I was really struggling this year. Your body may have been prioritizing other things versus performance. Maybe your body was prioritizing healing. Maybe there's other health issues that you were dealing with. Maybe you were healing from emotional things that were happening in your life. Maybe your body was focusing on adaptation or survival from other things. Like these are very important things for us to recognize, especially again. If you are a woman going through the perimenopause transition, or maybe you're transitioning into post menopause, your body is just trying to stay alive and figure out what the heck is going on in this new body with the lack of the hormones that we've been used to for the past few decades. So your body is not really thinking about how fast your prs are. Your body's thinking, oh my gosh, I don't know what the heck is going on. I need to stay alive. And so it's prioritizing other things and your body only has a a. Set number of resources, a limited number of resources. And so if it's prioritizing other things, that's a good reason that maybe you didn't have the performances that you wanted.

Kevin: 26:20

Yeah, that, that makes sense. There's only so much that you can do. There's only so much energy inside your body. this year might have also felt hard. You might have been building some awareness of your body, how your body. is able to train at different age levels. I know the way that I'm training now is way different than the way that I was training a decade ago. Like some awareness of what most optimizes your body at this stage. Some patience in training, some resilience. The strength training may have ramped up a little bit, so maybe you're trying to figure out. What is the best way that I balance the strength training and the running? maybe you used to be able to hit a hard workout on a Tuesday and come back with another hard workout on a Thursday, and you have to have a little bit more patience. Maybe your schedule just gets stretched out. Maybe you do a hard workout every week and you have to do a little bit. Patient that what used to be like a 12 week training plan is now a 16 week training plan. And that's okay. you've learned a lot of awareness of how to train with your body. I know that this has been a process for me for the last several years.

Angie: 27:21

Yeah. It's definitely been a process for me too, and I think that, again, when we take the time to actually reflect on these things, we start to. Gain some of these awarenesses as well, right? I, this is something that I'm literally going through right now because I went really heavy in my lift and you, I've done my schedule that I have right now, I've done this for years, like with my strength is on Monday speed, work on Tuesday, strength on Wednesday. Like I've had this schedule for years and then. Last week, or maybe two weeks ago, I think at this point, I did a really heavy lift on Monday and followed up with speed work on Tuesday morning and was so sore the rest of the day on Tuesday. Like I was having a problem. And actually I've had some, some tendonitis essentially in my glutes since then, and I've, I've been working it out. it's getting better. I'm gonna be fine. But it was a lesson of maybe I have to adjust my schedule a little bit here. Maybe I can't lift as heavy as I want to on Monday, and then follow that up with a speed workout Tuesday morning,

Kevin: 28:19

there might need to be a day in between the heavy legs day and a speed day.

Angie: 28:22

especially if I'm trying to push the weight on Monday. Yeah.'cause I tried to push the weight and lift a heavier squat than I ever had before. So I was really, I was trying to PR my squat that day. I should not have followed that up with a speed workout day. But the other thing that I know, and that I'm very aware of about myself is that I'm stubborn and. A little bit hardheaded sometimes. And oftentimes I will tell people the thing that I believe that they should do, but I don't always follow that same advice myself, and this is the time in my life where I'm probably gonna have to start following more of my own advice. And I'll just go ahead and admit. That to all of you because they often say that doctors are the worst patients and there's a lot of times that we know certain things, but we're not actually implementing them, and now is the season of life and this is a good time to reflect and figure out, okay, what are some of those areas that maybe I need to implement a little bit more of? Yes,

Kevin: 29:14

maybe some of these lessons that I've been teaching people for so many years now I need to actually. Fully implement. It's not that I'm missing all the lessons, but I need to fully implement, I need to be completely take these in on a daily basis.

Angie: 29:28

because I think overall, I live by all the principles I teach, right? So I don't want you guys to hear the wrong thing here. I live by all of the principles that I teach, and at the same time. There are times that I don't give myself the grace that I very much encourage my clients and my members to give themselves and to give themselves a little bit of extra time because again, I'm like, yeah, but I can do it. Like we sometimes we still think we're 25 and everything is the same, and then our body's yeah, you're not, it's, and it's okay. that's where the grace comes in, is it's okay for you to make some of these adjustments and sleep in, and. Take another easy day here before you do your speed workout again.

Kevin: 30:08

Yeah. It's, it's learning your boundaries. Yeah. Is what it is. Learning how to train for where you currently are, and that doesn't mean that, that you're going to continue to get slower. It's just learning how best to train. And maybe this year is a whole lot of knowledge growth, and that means that you can have a whole lot of physical growth in the year to come. Yeah. But this may have been a big knowledge year.

Angie: 30:27

because hard years often create the strongest foundations, especially when we take time and reflect and learn the lessons. Like we can learn so much more from the hard times and the failures even more than the successes. Sometimes I don't, there's obviously that old adage of successes, a crappy teacher, and you learn more from failures than you do from successes. I think we can learn. A lot from both as long as we take the time to actually reflect on it. So that takes us into those of you that if you felt really strong this year, if you felt like this was a great year for me, the first thing I want you to do is celebrate, and I want you to celebrate it intentionally. take time and reflect and ask yourself what went well this year and really celebrate your wins. And this is one of the things that I absolutely love about our real life runners team. Like we get together on a live call every single Tuesday, and the first thing that we do is celebrate wins. No matter how small that is, what we always say, no win is too small. So some people are coming on and they're celebrating. their first marathon are huge prs and other people are celebrating that they got their strength training workout in that week. And all of these things are good things because it is so important for us to be intentional with the good things and the wins in our life.

Kevin: 31:38

I, I think that's my favorite part is that people will have no hesitation following up somebody celebrating their marathon PR with, I got in both my strength training sessions. Yeah, because. It's a win. They're both wins and they're both really important wins. They're both huge for that person's general physical journey.

Angie: 31:55

Absolutely. And so if this year felt really strong for you, not only celebrate the things that you accomplished, but then ask, okay, what systems supported you in achieving these things? AKA, like your support system at home with the other people in your life? What kind of calendar system did you have set up? What kind of strength training system or. Running plan, were you following, what are the systems that you had that actually supported you in achieving this goal? Did you start meal prepping this year, or meal planning at least this year to make nutrition more of a no brainer and less energy to figure out what am I gonna eat every day? Like how did you support yourself there in those systems?

Kevin: 32:37

it, it goes right into what training choices worked. What was it about your training schedule? Like we talked in the last section, maybe you learned a lot of things this year about how to train. Maybe this was the year that you started implementing new ways to train, that you were able to figure out how to work your schedule to best optimize yourself to get the recovery, to treat yourself with the appropriate training schedule that optimizes, both growth and recovery for you. what habits were you picking up this year that led to the success? Because a whole lot of success comes through habits that you've ingrained over time. So you don't have to do the thinking of oh, actually I do strides after my run on every Wednesday. If that's like an automatic thing, that's a whole, that's 50 weeks of strides is gonna get you to a whole lot of places, especially if it's a no-brainer habit that you've instituted.

Angie: 33:26

Yeah. And then finally, and this question is really important and a lot of people overlook this one, but what did you stop doing that helped? What did you finally let go of? Maybe you actually let go of that stubborn attitude that you had that was said that you could do your strength training and your speed work back to back, or you're very hard. You can do. Strength training and speed work back to back. It just depends on what kind you're doing and like the specific workouts that you're doing. Yeah. there's nuance to it. there's a lot of nuance. But what are some of the things that you stopped doing or that you were able to let go of? Maybe it was that mindset of restriction. Maybe it was the idea that carbs are bad. Maybe you finally let that go and you started fueling yourself better and you're like, oh my gosh, my running feels so much better when I eat enough food. Especially when I eat enough carbs in my life.

Kevin: 34:13

Yeah. I mean that I. Having double lunch on so many days from the school is super helpful. Like I pack my lunch on a regular basis, but going over and eating lunch on days where I've had a hard run that morning is super helpful for me.

Angie: 34:25

Yeah, absolutely. Because success without reflection becomes fragile. It becomes hard to repeat. When you have success and you actually think about it and you figure out and start to answer some of these questions, it becomes repeatable because when you reflect, it becomes more repeatable and then more sustainable. And then there's that overlooked middle ground'cause, and this is really where I would guess most people. Fall, which is most runners experience, both. Most runners experience, both wins and setbacks, progress and plateaus, confidence and doubt, and all of that is normal and it's all very healthy. You don't have to be on one side or the other. So try to figure out where on the spectrum you are. are you focusing more on the negative things? Are you feeling more negative about your year? Are you feeling more positive about the year? Are you somewhere in the middle? And if so, where on that? Spectrum are you? And then again, no matter where you are, take the time to reflect and write down a lot of these things that we're talking about today.

Kevin: 35:23

Right? Which leads to the journaling section. as Angie pointed out before, please don't try and write things down. If you're currently driving, that is a bad choice. Maybe wait till later. but here are some ideas of some things that you should really actually take some time and think about. And writing things down is a great way to make sure that you're actually taking some conscious effort to do this and not, you can do it as you're running right now, as you're running along. If you're listening to us on your run. Thank you for taking us with you. but. Actually pausing and thinking about it later and writing it down is really gonna be beneficial. So the first, first thought here. What worked this year in terms of your training structure, in terms of your strength training structure, your strength, consistency in terms of the recovery that you're putting in, whether that was sleeping or nutrition. Or the, like specifics within nutrition, like are, did you change the amount of protein that you're taking in? Are more, safely and comfortable with putting carbs into your body? Are you not freaking out about this? Because those are all important recovery habits. Did you have any big mindset shifts at some point during the year? Did that, did the mindset shift then change your recovery habits or your training structure or your strength consistency because something flipped. Actually think about it and be like, oh, actually. Partway through the year, my training actually got really good. There was probably a mindset shift that happened somewhere in the middle of the year. Was there a change in community or the support system around you? Was it a positive change, a negative change, something that changed into your support structure that helped you, that you wanna make sure that you lean into moving forward? So that's our first one here is what really worked for you this year.

Angie: 37:00

And if you are someone that is out on your run or driving, there's four main things that I want you to think about here because Kevin named a few. But I always like to go back to our framework because the framework that we use, which we call the Running Reconnected Method here at Real Life Runners, the those four. Essential ingredients are what you need to think about because those are all the four things that have an effect on how you train and how you perform and how you feel. So the first one is your athletic identity or your mindset, which Kevin was talking about, like the thought shifts, the mindset, shifts that maybe beliefs that you were able to shift or let go of. That's your athletic identity. What do you. Possible for you, right? Maybe in the past you were very negative and you didn't believe certain things were possible. This year you decided to start believing some of those things, and that led you to actually doing the training that allowed you to accomplish some of those things. Fantastic. The second part is your training. Okay? The, your actual training structure that includes your. Running and your strength training. The third area is your nutrition. You wanna make sure that you are getting good nutrition into your body. And then the fourth area is your nervous system and which is recovery and being able to regulate your nervous system. So those are the four areas that we want you to look at and figure out, okay, what worked this year? And then once you finish that section, you're gonna write down what didn't work. And again, I would. Encouraged you to think about all four of those areas again, right? Your identity, your mind, a k, a, your mindset, your training, both your running and your strength training, your nutrition and your recovery. And kind of figure out, okay, physically, mentally, emotionally, what was not working for me this year. And maybe those things that weren't working for you as we continue this reflection, those are gonna be some things that maybe you can start to let go of in the coming year.

Kevin: 38:40

Yeah. Or things that give you an area that you can work on of this was not working for me. Is that an area that I want to dive into and try to improve? Or is that an area that I need to let go of? Yeah. Is that something that's just holding me back? Okay. Problem to three. What are you proud of? What, this one's super important here. Just actually take the time because. It's possible because of, recency bias that you might have. Most recently had a race that didn't go very well, but there was plenty of things in the year that you can pause and you can be proud of. when we do the, our gratitude at dinner with our kids and we're like, Hey, what went well today? Sometimes you're like, nothing. Nothing went well, something. Something went very well for you today. There is something over the course of the year that you can probably be very proud of inside of your running journey, whatever it was. Maybe. Maybe you fell off and the fact that you got back on. Maybe not where you were, but you didn't quit. You didn't say, ah, I'll start again in 2026. You got back on. Maybe that is what you can be proud of. There's something, take the time to actually be very proud of that.

Angie: 39:43

Absolutely. Because ultimately your year is not good or bad. It's both. And then. We take that and we start to integrate it because integration is keeping what worked, releasing what didn't, and also trusting the evolution of your body because your body is growing and adapting, and all sorts of things are happening no matter how old you are. If you're in your twenties, your thirties, your forties, your fifties, your body is constantly changing. That is one thing that we can always count on, is as soon as we think we have it figured out. Things change. Same thing with your kids. I feel like you are kinda get to a point in parenthood where you're like, okay, I think I got this. And then they get another year older and you're like, oh, these challenges are completely different than anything that I've expected before.

Kevin: 40:28

And the second one's not like the first one at all.

Angie: 40:30

Not at all. How does that always happen? Like why is number two always so different than the first one? All right, so as we close out this episode, I think we're gonna go back to one of the things, Kevin, that you just mentioned, which is gratitude and looking back on what are three things that you are grateful for in your running this year, in your running, your fitness, your health journey, something that you can be grateful for. So that's the first question. The second one is to choose at least one lesson to carry forward. So after you've answered all the questions that we just gave you in the reflection, what's one lesson that you're gonna carry forward with you into the new year? And then the third one, and this is really, I think, the most important thing. Which is set one identity based intention. So it's, this is not a goal. This is not like I wanna run a 5K in under 30 minutes. It's describing the kind of person that you want to be in 2026. It's an identity based goal. So for example. I'm becoming a runner who trains while honoring my body, right? Like a lot of us have been taught to just push harder and do more and just grind through. That's not really honoring your body. And in this next phase of life, after 40, we have to train with a lot more intention, a lot more grace, and a lot more trust in, Our bodies are still capable of amazing things after 40. Just because you're 40 does not mean you have to get slower, does not mean you have to cut your mileage. Like you're still capable of incredible things as long as you treat your body well, and as long as you are doing so with intention, like all of these things are very important. So decide. The runner or the person that you want to be next year, that's more than just a goal. That's more than just something that you do. It's the person that is within you that you're acting from. Like I am a strong runner. That is how I'm going to be next year.

Kevin: 42:28

Yeah, that's a lot. It's a lot more squishy than a number on a clock. it's, it's very different than a goal. It is. It is who you are going to embody next year, and at the end of next year, you can go back and you look at that thought and be like, is that how I ran the year? Not did I hit, did I check the boxes? Because it's not a, did I check the box? It's much more of a, how did I carry myself throughout the year, I don't know. I'm on the spot here, but I wanna be someone who races with joy. Is a good one because for so long races were such a stressful thing and it led to me not running for a period of time there. But now I don't have to do any of these races. I'm not part of a team in high school or college or anything. It's not do the race and do it as fast as you can, or people are gonna pass you on the team. I choose to sign up for the races. I pay a whole bunch of money to sign up for the races. Yeah. So there better be some enjoyment in it. I think that's one of the directions that I'm going with this. And

Angie: 43:24

yeah, there better be,

Kevin: 43:28

joy is, it presents differently sometimes. Also, but I think that's a good one. And it's tough to finish a race and look at the clock and be like, does that number say joyful? Does that number say I'm running with strength, I'm training with strength. It might, but it's not that objective. it's a squishier thing. it's a personal identity.

Angie: 43:47

Yeah, I agree. And the other thing that I wanna add before we close up here too, is during this reflection, you might realize that. Your goals or the person that you want to become for next year is different than the person that you've been for the past X number of years, or your goals might be something that are completely different than the goals that you've been chasing. Maybe you've been doing road racings and you're like, you know what? I'm not really into these anymore. Maybe I wanna get into obstacle racing or trail racing, or maybe I wanna cut back on my running and. Do more strength training in general and that can feel very scary, especially when runner or a certain kind of runner has become a part of your identity. Maybe you have a community and a support system that has been built around this, and so letting go of that can feel very scary. And I just wanna encourage you because this is where I am also. It's okay. It's normal. It's going. think about when you first got into the running community, you probably felt this way also. You probably felt a little bit scared. You weren't sure what was going to happen and you found some amazing people. the same thing is going to be able to happen to you no matter where you go, as long as you're staying true to yourself. And it doesn't mean that just because you wanna shift your focus, that doesn't mean you're not a runner. It doesn't mean that, you know you have to give it up completely or anything like that, but you can just shift what you wanna focus on. And I think that's what's. Been happening with me lately. It's like I don't really care as much about like the speed and the paces and all the things that I used to care about more in years past. I'm focusing more on the strength training and really just getting stronger and building muscle, and I still love running and I still do it frequently. I'm very consistent with all of it. It's just. Slightly different focus, and that's okay too.

Kevin: 45:33

As a couple. We're still getting as many miles in during the year though, so it's working out just fine

Angie: 45:37

because I'm decreasing and you're increasing, I'm taking

Kevin: 45:40

em all along.

Angie: 45:40

Perfect. Perfect. So if you need support in community, Kevin's here and he's got your back also. but truly, if you are looking for some support in some community where you can go into some of these things and start to reflect on some of these things and tackle some. Uncomfortable and growth-minded situations like where you're like, okay, I think I need to let go of this, but I'm not really sure how to do this. These are the hard conversations that we have inside the real life runners team, and this is one thing that we might not talk about is enough. We definitely talk about training plans, right? we, when you join the real life Runners team, you get all your, all of your training plans, you get all your runs, you get all your strength training, but you also have just an amazing community and support and coaches that actually care about you, and that will guide you through some of these harder things as well. That's more, a little bit more complicated and. Deeper than, what do I need to run on Tuesday?

Kevin: 46:35

Yeah. It's a whole lot different than your pace for a handful of four hundreds. It's where is your actual mind heading into, your training for the next three months? Because that is way different than, actually 84 is gonna be better than 85 seconds like that. It's, that exists. Knowing where your head is and getting your head in a proper place and getting goals and your identity and everything figured out is far more important to not just like your improvement as a runner, but your enjoyment as a runner, which I think is super critical.

Angie: 47:05

I agree. So whether the year challenged you or strengthened you, it moved you forward and you don't need to just rush into what's next. You can start thinking about it for sure. But take some time this week or the next couple of weeks before the end of the year, and. Write down, take what you've learned and actually let it settle and actually let it. Integrate in your system and trust the runner that you're becoming. So regardless if you haven't felt great this year, that doesn't mean that you're not going to feel great next year. You just have to start doing things differently. That's what Reflection teaches you, is that if you don't get the results, if you don't have the results that you want. What you did this year didn't really work for you, and so you have to make some changes if you want different results in the year to come. And if you want help with that, we are here for you. We would absolutely love to support you on the Real Life Runners team. If you want more information about all of that, go over to real life runners.com and you can see the options that we have for coaching. I would highly suggest to start with the 30 day Running Reset. I think that program, the way that I designed that program was really to be a reset on your running in all four of those areas that we talked about earlier in, the episode with the running Reconnected framework that we've created. So it gives you daily lessons, it gives you mindset and nutrition and strength training and running, and all the things that matter in the way that you feel. And it's 30 days of action items. You will feel different at the end of those 30 days. So I would highly recommend checking that program out. It's a one-time investment and it's not an ongoing membership. You actually, you can join the ongoing membership, of course, we would love that. but the program itself is a one-time investment. So check that out over@realliferunners.com slash reset. there's actually a special going on right now, so go check it out. And as always, if this episode was helpful, please leave us a review, share it with other runners. We wanna just continue to help more runners around the world to get stronger and become the runners that. They want to be. So this has been The Real Life Runners podcast, episode number 440. Now, get out there and run your life.