427: Commitment

In episode 427 of the Real Life Runners Podcast, we continue our Core Values series with one of the most powerful keys to lasting success in running—and life: commitment.

Motivation comes and goes. Some mornings you’ll wake up ready to run, other days… not so much. That’s why commitment matters more. It’s the steady anchor that carries you through the days when motivation fades.

In this episode, we dive into Core Value #3: Commitment. We share how staying committed—to yourself, the process, your goals, and even the people around you—creates the kind of consistency that builds strong, resilient runners.

Drawing from our own experiences as runners and as high school cross country coaches, we talk about how commitment shows up on the good days and the hard ones, how it shapes your mindset, and how it ultimately fuels your growth on and off the run.

You’ll hear personal stories, practical insights, and a few challenges to help you reflect on your own running journey:

• What does it really mean to commit to yourself?
• How do you keep showing up when motivation is low?
• Where do commitment and recovery meet?
• And how can commitment to others (and even competition) make you stronger?

By the end of this episode, you’ll see why commitment is the foundation for real transformation—and how deepening your own commitment can help you reach your next level as a runner and as a person.

03:07 Commitment vs. Motivation

05:20 Commitment to Yourself

20:09 Commitment to the Process

24:33 Running Routine and Commitment

26:03 Commitment to Goals and Process

27:26 Balancing Commitment and Recovery

29:20 Commitment to Others

30:04 Morning Motivation Story

34:51 Commitment in Competition

39:46 Mental and Physical Discomfort in Racing

Join the 30 Day Running Reset and get a plan that will help you build a strong and injury-proof body by combining running and strength training in a way that actually works for runners like you.

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Don't forget: The information on this website is not intended to treat or diagnose any medical condition or to provide medical advice. It is intended for general education in the areas of health and wellness. All information contained in this site is intended to be educational in nature. Nothing should be considered medical advice for your specific situation.

Transcript

Angie: 0:00

So many runners think that they need motivation to be consistent or they need motivation to get out the door. But today we are continuing on with our core value series that we've started over the last couple of weeks, and we are on core value number three. So today we're talking about. Why commitment is so much more powerful and important versus motivation. So when you have commitment, you don't actually need motivation. So if you're someone that has thought that you need more motivation, this is exactly the episode that you need to hear. So stay tuned. What's up runners? Welcome back to the show. We are excited to continue our core value series with you today, and for those of you that might be new, maybe this is the first episode you're catching with us. Welcome. We're glad you're here. This is number three in our series. So we started a series, we actually started it last week with number two, and I realized that I had already done number one, but we had have these core values. we are high school cross country coaches, and so we do core values with our team every year. And so this year we thought we would bring those to the podcast to talk about how the core values from our cross country team also apply to us as real life runners. And what are the similarities and differences between. A high school cross country team, and us as real life runners

Kevin: 1:41

because there is more overlap than I thought there was going to be. Like, when you suggested that we do this and we go through our, cross country team values, I'm like, those are great values for our cross country team. But then, as we work through these podcast episodes, they're really great values for us as real life runners. Like they're really good ones. There were some that I'm like, I'm not sure how that's gonna play out, but they were all working. Really great. because they're trust the process. they're really good just values to, to go by. Whether you're working as on a cross country team or just for your own personal growth, they're just good values to live by.

Angie: 2:15

Yeah. And I think that's really where running likes to mimic life and vice versa. We always like to talk, on the podcast. Those of you who have been with us since the beginning, we are coming up on our. Eight year anniversary. Wow. This month, which is insane. At the beginning of our podcast journey back in 2017, we used to do this.'cause when we had the idea for this podcast, we said, okay, let's figure out a way to tie running and real life together in each episode. And so we would talk about whatever the topic was. And then in, in regards to running and then say, and this is how it applies to real life.

Kevin: 2:50

It was awesome. At

Angie: 2:51

the end of every episode, it was like,

Kevin: 2:52

now we've done an episode on hydration and now in your real life. And it was like some of them were so forced and

Angie: 2:58

so obvious too. Yes. God bless you guys that have all been with us since the beginning, or those of you that found the podcast and then decided to go back to the beginning. I know there's been a lot of people that have messaged us and said that they did that. They found us at like episode 200 and something and then went back and started from the beginning, which that shows a lot of commitment, which is what we're talking about today. Perfect segue. Excellent. Nailed that. And speaking of commitment, we are very committed to. The podcast, clearly we've been doing this for almost eight years now, and, so I'm actually, we've actually decided to do something different. We've never done this before, but we, As you might notice, whether this is your first episode with us or your 427th episode with us, we don't run ads on this podcast. And so to celebrate our eight year podcast anniversary, one of the things that I would love to do is to. Ask you to support the podcast because a lot of people don't realize all of the time and effort and finances that go into running a podcast. And this podcast is obviously out here for free. So what I've done, and I've done this because people have asked in the past about how to support the podcast, and so I decided to set up a donation. System. So if you would like to support the podcast, you could go over to real life runners.com/podcast and you can choose any amount to donate. You can just go in, type in whatever amount, maybe it's five bucks, maybe it's 10 bucks. whatever you feel called to contribute to the podcast as just a way to say thank you for the content that we create for you every single week for the past. What's eight times 52? Lots of weeks there. It's lots of weeks. Lots of over 400, 427 episodes. if that is you, if you want to support the podcast, we would be super grateful. Head over to real life runners.com/podcast today, to. Make your donation.

Kevin: 4:53

Yeah. We've got extra episodes because we're, we haven't hit eight years and eight times 52 is definitely less than 427.'cause it's 417. Yeah. there's been,

Angie: 5:04

but there's been episodes or weeks in the past where we've done more than one episode per week. Like I have, I used to release guest episodes as like a bonus episode for the week. Yeah, I know. you

Kevin: 5:13

just, when we started, I don't know, things like when we, September started

Angie: 5:15

September 28th, 2017. I know. that was our published date.

Kevin: 5:18

I know your birthday. Yeah, I know the girl's birthday. I know our anniversary. Yes. And that's pretty much, those are my big dates.

Angie: 5:25

Podcast anniversary is 9 28 17. yeah. All righty. Let's talk about commitment. Okay. So I like to think about commitment as something that I don't wanna say is the opposite of motivation, but definitely. More sustainable than motivation because I think motivation is one of those traps that a lot of runners fall into. There's so many people that think that they just need motivation. And I do a lot of free trainings, in addition to this podcast, which is for free. I also do like free challenges, free classes, all sorts of different free trainings throughout the year. And when people come to those trainings, a lot of times I'll ask them some questions, especially for our challenges ahead of time. what are you struggling with right now? Or what do you wish you had more of right now? And so many people say motivation and. I would love for this podcast to. Change the way that you look at motivation, because motivation is a feeling and all feelings, it is fleeting. Just like you are not happy all the time. You are not sad all the time. You have different feelings that you feel in any given moment, in any given day, and motivation is a feeling as well. It's how you feel in the moment. Moment.

Kevin: 6:37

Yeah. So like the same way that you don't feel happy all the time and it would feel uncomfortable to try to hold onto happiness at non happy times. it would feel really forced and you'd feel awkward inside'cause you're just, you're like white knuckling happiness. Yeah. In unhappy situations, it's difficult to force motivation in very unmotivated circumstances. When the situation around you is giving you a whole heck of a lot of lack of motivation, it is difficult to bring that out of essentially nowhere.

Angie: 7:09

It is, and I think that, you bring in happiness right now and that has been a tough emotion for me to find over the last couple of weeks because like we told you all about last. Week on the podcast. we lost our dog a couple weeks ago, and that is definitely not a situation that I'm happy about. I hate that this happened. I hate the way that it happened. I hate that it happened. I hate everything around this and. I am not happy at all. And to be honest, it's been hard to find happiness, even in other things that have typically made me happy because it is this feeling of sadness and of grief and of disbelief and sometimes a little bit of denial and anger and like all the stages of grief that people talk about. Those have been, more of the emotions and I try to find gratitude and I try to find some of the other. Feelings to get me out of those icky ones. I let myself feel the feelings.'cause that's really important too, because I think that's one of the ways that we move through. Life is it's important for us to feel all of the feelings. Yes. Even when they don't feel good.

Kevin: 8:15

Yes. To feel all the feelings. Yeah. Don't just shove them away. And that's, this is goes right in line with the motivation is Yeah. Don't just shove the unwanted feeling And throw what seems like a quote unquote better feeling on top of it. Don't ignore the sadness. Yeah. And just be like, no, I'm forcing happiness onto this situation.

Angie: 8:31

and like you said, and when you're feeling unmotivated, you know when your body is maybe sore or when you are tired and the alarm. Rings at five o'clock in the morning. Yep. Or if it's cold outside or raining outside or really freaking hot outside. Like all these things I think are barriers to motivation and people think, oh, if I just hype myself up, I can willpower and get through this and like just force myself to do it. And again, that is a feeling and sometimes that works okay. It's not that is a bad thing, it's just not the way to do this sustainably. Whereas when we look at commitment is a decision. Commitment is like an anchor that, or even like a lighthouse that is guiding you in the right direction, even when motivation disappears. So going back to the example of trying to get up early at 5:00 AM I literally just set up a Facebook event for my local running group, my friends that like we meet every Tuesday. At five 30 in the morning and I just set up my little Facebook event and I looked at Kevin and I said, I really don't wanna wake up at 5:00 AM tomorrow. So my motivation for this run is pretty low. My motivation is going to say stay in bed, but my commitment is I run at 5:30 AM on Tuesday. I have a group of girls that I run with every Tuesday, and I'm committed to them. And I've been committed to this run for almost. Eight years. I think I started this run back in 2017 that I've been doing this run basically every Tuesday for over eight years now, or the past eight years, which is wild to think about, but there are so many days that I did not want to do that run. But the commitment is what? Got me out of bed. And that is just simply a decision,

Kevin: 10:18

right? The, you've got your group that you run with. On Tuesdays, I, if I get in a morning run, it's also I get up around five and go off and generally do the same loop. I love seeing the same people. I go off and I run by myself, but I always pass the same group of people. Almost every single day. And it's weird when certain people are missing. Yeah. They're like, I wonder what happened too. And I don't know their names. Yeah. But it's the guy that I see here, it's the woman that I run down this stretch of the road. I wonder what happened to them this morning. did they, are they out of town? Did they get sick? did their motivation wane slightly And their commitment not bring up to where it is. I miss plenty of days. Also, like we've talked about this, sometimes there's a commitment to taking care of yourself. there is a time where you need to be committed to your health. You, we covered this with like integrity is you have to be true to your core value of health. Not necessarily I have to get up every single, like you said, every Tuesday at five. Yeah. What if we were up until two o'clock this morning? You know what if something did that, then you're not doing it

Angie: 11:20

well and that. When we lost our dog on a Monday night and I told my friends I wasn't coming that TU next Tuesday, right? Like I mentally could not do it physically. I just was completely drained in all the ways. And so that was a decision not to. Go that day. And obviously everyone un completely understood.

Kevin: 11:40

But you couldn't have overcome that, that didn't change your commitment to it. And I don't think there was any number of motivational videos that No. You could have watched Uhhuh. There wasn't like, oh, if we just turn on the Rocky soundtrack, then we'll be good. It could No,

Angie: 11:53

because that would be completely ignoring your emotional experience. and that's not what motivation is for either. But I think that some people try to use motivation for that.

Kevin: 12:01

Yes, exactly. I think people. Force the motivation that, that's my biggest issue is motivation, is the forced motivation. if you put on gonna fly, now I get really pumped up, dun. I'm looking for steps to go run up like this. To me it's very inspirational, but if you put that on. Every single morning at five, gimme a few weeks, your

Angie: 12:23

family will move out on you. Yeah.

Kevin: 12:25

but gimme a few weeks and it's not gonna have its effect anymore either. Yeah, And there's gonna be days where I'm like, oh man, I'm so pumped and ready to go. Eventually that is not motivating. And then you have to come up with some other new thing to motivate. And on days where you really don't. Want that thing to motivate you where your commitment says, I probably shouldn't go out and run. I should be more committed to my health than going out forcing the motivation of no, we do this. We always get up at five and go is not necessarily the healthy thing. It's forcing happiness where you shouldn't be happy. It's forcing motivation where you don't necessarily want that. The commitment one, it lasts longer, it's more anchoring and two. I feel like the commitment gives you the flexibility that motivation does not always motivation. You get an outside thing and it puts you into, I do the thing now.

Angie: 13:15

and it puts you into an emotional state. Yes. And that's really what you're looking for. And so motivation can be helpful. I think at the beginning. It can help you start the journey, but commitment is what's going to help keep you moving forward. That's what's actually going to be the sustainable thing that is going to lead to the. Day in, day out, week in, week out, year, month in, year in, year out. that it takes to achieve the goals that you want to achieve.

Kevin: 13:44

Yeah. It's when you start listing like that and you're like, and day after day motivation does not do that. No.

Angie: 13:49

eight years, think about this podcast, like the commitment to this podcast. There have been plenty of weeks and days that we did not feel like recording a podcast.

Kevin: 13:58

There have been plenty that you took solo.'cause I didn't have a voice, but we were, you have been that you were committed to getting the podcast out.

Angie: 14:04

because I made that commitment eight years ago that I wanted to release a podcast weekly. And that doesn't necessarily mean that we have to, I have to override myself. It means that I have, in the past, I've created episodes ahead of time so that when we did have those weeks, I had something to fall back on. So that's getting to the idea of committing to the. Outcome also that you want. I think there's a commitment to the process and then there's also a commitment to the outcome that you want as well. But let's jump into kind of how we can break this down for you and the different areas that we wanna look at. Commitment. So the first one is commitment to yourself. And this is following through. On the promises that you make to yourself, it is not about being perfect, and this is the same conversation that we had with integrity and respect as well. This is not about perfection. None of these things mean you can never. Break a promise to yourself. You can never do this. It just means, again, running has given you an opportunity to see where you might be falling short of the things that you want to be doing or of the ways that you want to be living your life and. Give you an opportunity to change that. So it's not about being perfect or never getting it wrong, it's about returning to the path when you stumble, it's about returning to that commitment that you made to yourself and honoring yourself in your goals by showing up even on the messy days, even on the days that you don't wanna be there. And that's really what running. Gives us another opportunity to do.

Kevin: 15:42

Yeah, it's commitment to getting the job done as best as you possibly can, and that may involve deviating from a plan written in front of you that may say, alright, I got a workout on Tuesday. I got another speed workout on Friday. I got a long run on Sunday, but. It's not going to happen. because of the other things. I don't have enough recovery built into my life between that Tuesday and Thursday. I'm not going to be able to get in that speed session. But that doesn't mean that, alright, if I can't get in that speed session, I just, I don't need to run on that day. I'm just, if I miss one day. I might as well just wait until the next week and I'll start up again. That's not what commitment to the to yourself says. That means if I missed a day or I had a bad workout, I had a bad race, whatever the thing is, you keep going. Like it just keeps building because the growth and improvement as a runner, which then in my opinion really directly leads to the growth and improvement as a human. Is the compounding the day after day, the year after year. So having a bad day, having a missed day does not shut things off. It just says, alright, we fell off a little bit. Now get right back to it. That's where the commitment comes in.

Angie: 16:51

Yeah. And so you might find language patterns.'cause I always like to look at the power of words and the power of our language. Like we are doing a 30 day reset inside of our membership right now. Our 30 day running reset. If you want in on that. We're starting the next group on Monday so you can check out all the information that you need over@realliferunners.com slash reset. but we are in week three right now of the group that's going through it and it's. So interesting to, to talk about the way that our brain talks to us and the sentences that we use and the power of language, because a big part of the reset and the shifts that we're making inside of the membership. Is starting to become aware of how our language affects our actions and how then of course, our actions are going to affect the results. So if you don't have the results that you want in your life, you have to go backwards and say, okay, what am I doing or not doing? And how am I thinking about this? What am I saying to myself? And so a simple way that this change in language can present itself with commitment to yourself is shifting from, I'll try. dot. I'll try to do, I'll try to run tomorrow. I'll try to get my strength training in, shifting that to I will get my strength training. And that shows a decision, that shows a commitment. It's not that you're gonna try to do something, it's that you're going to do it. And I think that's a really powerful shift to make. And I think that there's a lot of people that. Are afraid to make that because they think, then what if I don't do it? Then I might be lying to myself. Then I'm breaking the promises. So they don't make that strong commitment to it because they're already afraid that they might not follow through.

Kevin: 18:34

And that's where the, it builds to the next thing that we're covering here is that commitment to yourself allows you the possibility to fail, and that's okay. It doesn't mean. That you are failing at the thing. It means that day didn't work out the way that you had committed to, and then you come back the next day. that's what I'm saying is it's always, and then you come back the next day. Maybe that day worked out great. You still have to come back the next day. Maybe that day went poorly. You had a bad workout, bad race. You had no workout like it. It all just completely fell apart. You still come back the next day. Whatever happens today, the plan continues the next. State, you have to keep moving. You have to keep going forward. That's where the commitment comes from. I think you're exactly right. People are totally afraid to say, I will. They put this kind of, caution out in front of it. Oh, I'll give it a shot. I'll try my best. It's no, just go do the thing. Yeah. Or. Or don't do the thing, learn from that, and then move forward and do it again the next day.

Angie: 19:31

it's do the thing and then see what the result is, right? Yeah. Because I think that people think that the outcome, the result is going to determine whether or not they did the thing. And that's not true necessarily. It means that you went out there and you did it, you just might not have gotten that the exact result that you wanted to. So that takes us to the next part, which is commitment to the process. So commitment to the process looks like tr trusting the training plan. And not chasing quick fixes. There's, I feel like we are in a world right now of just, immediate gratification and people that want the tricks and the hacks and like, how do I get the result that I want even faster. And running is one of those things that just doesn't work that way. You have to. Put in the work, you have to trust the process. And I think that's one of the beautiful things about running, especially in the world that we currently live in. There's definitely ways to get results faster, and a lot of that is minimizing the backwards steps, right? Like it's, I don't think that you can necessarily move forward that much faster, but there's a lot of runners that experience a lot of setbacks and injuries and plateau and things like that. So by. Minimizing those things. Technically we will get ahead faster, but it still requires that you put in the work because running is a long-term practice. It's not like a one season fling. And if you are listening to this running podcast, if you are someone that is listening to a running podcast, I don't think you are a one and done kind of runner. oh, I'm just gonna run a marathon and check it off my bucket list and then I'm gonna be done. that's not how most of us. Listening to this are approaching running.

Kevin: 21:09

we've had people that came in, they wanted to run a marathon. Yeah. But they had a fling with a marathon and then they fall back on what running also meant to them. That's also possible. Yeah. Like I feel like we've got those listeners, but not necessarily the I came outta nowhere, never ran before. Train for a marathon. I did my marathon and I'm out of air.

Angie: 21:27

That's what I meant when I said that. Yeah.

Kevin: 21:28

But I, the other side I actually think is totally part of the whole commitment. The commitment to the general growth, the commitment to, I wonder what my body's capable of doing. That sort of aspect of what would it involve to train for a marathon? What's that going to look like? that's a whole, that's a huge process to commit to. Yeah. and definitely does not just involve quick fixes. I knew. The whole like in inside of like social media running world that the excitement around zone two training was going to fade. Because zone two training, it is totally effective, is definitely not a short term fix

Angie: 22:03

and is so not sexy. it's not exciting, but people tried to make it very exciting because so many people talked about it for so long.

Kevin: 22:11

Yeah. But the, but it's

Angie: 22:13

not fast at all.

Kevin: 22:14

It's a very slow process. It's. It's pretty effective, but it also ignores that you need the other zones and it's actually a whole wide training plan is probably the best thing for you. But just the excitement of zone two is gonna get you there. I'm like, it'll get you there, but it's not gonna be fun and it's gonna take so long to do it. Yeah. So I'm like the, you

Angie: 22:34

remember when I tried math training for a week?

Kevin: 22:36

Oh God, yes.

Angie: 22:37

It was a little, it was more than a week. I'm exaggerating, but,

Kevin: 22:40

but I knew that was not gonna be the thing for you either. It was not, especially, I think I

Angie: 22:43

lasted like three weeks.

Kevin: 22:45

But especially at the time when you tried it. No, you could conceivably enjoy it more now because I feel like you enjoy easy running more now. I

Angie: 22:53

do, I do.

Kevin: 22:54

But at the time you enjoyed the variety of different paces and that is not what the math method is.

Angie: 22:58

No, definitely not. going back to our consistent, our commitment to the process. Consistency is the big thing here, and I think that this is one of the things that in a way deters people from running and also attracts people from running. Like I think it attracts the people that like this type of thing, but also can deter a lot of people because. Improving as a runner is not always exciting because you have to run, you have to strength train, you have to do the easy runs, you have to fuel there. There's a lot that can possibly go into it, and a lot of that is not that exciting. Kevin said, going out on an easy run yet again. I'm just gonna go get my five miles in, or my four miles or my six miles, whatever it might be. But that consistency and that commitment to the process is what's going to lead to the long-term results that people want.

Kevin: 23:50

Yeah. as I did last year, I've got the tally marks going on my board again in my classroom, and after a couple of weeks of school, it starts building up a decent number of tally marks and eventually one of the kids will ask, Hey, Mr. Brown, what are the tally marks? Yeah. Because that's way more than how many days of school we've had so far. And I say, oh, that's how many miles I've run since school started. And then you can see them, they start counting and then they keep counting and they get a sort of like quizzical look on their face. Somebody helps them add them numbers up, and then they just, they pause and they're like, how many miles do you run a day? Because they figured that I'm taking off days in there that I might have missed a day. They're like, and then usually that's followed by. When do you wake up and because these are valid questions. Yeah. If I've got that many tick marks on the board and I'm like, I get up around five and I run somewhere between seven and eight miles most mornings and. It seems crazy and they're like, wow, that's nuts. But to me that is, I just, I go out and I get my, I run the loop that I run. It is just the thing that I do. I get up this morning, I did not have a lot of motivation to get up this morning, but the alarm went off and I got up and I did the thing, and I just did the same loop that I do almost every single morning. And because I don't have to put that thought into it. I can just go out there and do it. To me, it doesn't need that much motivation to other people. It might get really boring really quickly, and they're like, I would need motivation to continue to do that thing. I think that's where the commitment comes in of I don't, because the commitment says this is what I'm going to do, and making it the same loop almost every single time helps it just be a smooth process that has so few barriers in my head.

Angie: 25:30

yeah, because your commitment is. Also it's to the process, but it's also to the goals that you have. Like you have a bigger, you have a commitment to your goals, which is then going to make you go out and run on, even on the days that you don't feel like running, because those goals are more important to you than. Not going out and doing the thing.

Kevin: 25:49

That's true. We've got, we have some kids on the CrossCountry team, and I will not name any of them, but we have kids on the CrossCountry team that they're, they say they're fully committed to this, and I'm like, all right, so let's go off. We're gonna go get like a normal distance run and that should be whatever it is for that particular person. That should be four miles for you. That should be five miles for you, whatever the thing is. And they come back 20 minutes later and I'm like, how far did you go? They're like, oh, I was feeling pretty tired today, so I only went two. that's not what we need today. Like I get that you get, you're tired today and you're gonna have to slow down a little bit. You might need a walking break into it, but if the commitment to the process says you gotta basically stick to the plan, not if you're so tired, not if you're so ridiculously hurt and aching from the day before, not enough, the stress worth. Through the roof and there's other things, but if you just are tired because we had a workout yesterday or whatever the thing is, you still have to go get in the mileage. You can't be like, I know I'm supposed to do five, but I felt like two today. That's not commitment to the process.

Angie: 26:48

Right. But at the same time, we have to also make sure that we're not using commitment against ourselves because I think that can happen too, that people. Don't listen to their body and they think that they're being committed by going out on the days that they feel ex, like genuinely exhausted, not just a little bit tired, but their body is screaming at them that they need more recovery. Maybe they've got like a little ache and pain that just won't go away. It's just it's been there, it's been lingering. Like your body's giving you all these signs and you're like, no, I'm committed. So you can also use commitment. There's a shadow side of commitment sometimes as well. When you. go about it the opposite way, don't you think?

Kevin: 27:27

No, a hundred percent. I think that one is also reflected in the amount of people rolling into the gym around, I don't know, January, for the first three weeks it's packed. Why? Because everybody has motivation. They think it's commitment. In fact, they may even have so much motivation that they've. It's brought about, its form of commitment, and they're like, no, this is my New Year's resolution. I'm so committed. This is the year that I become the runner and I complete my half marathon, my marathon, whatever the thing is. They've brought commitment to it, and they go so big and so hard for the first couple of weeks that they're exhausted and burnt out, and by the time they hit February, it's not that motivation is waned, it's that they were so committed. On days where they needed to be committed to recovery. Yeah. They were so committed to working out every day that they literally weren't committed to the process that involves the working out on the hard days and the recovery on the easy days, they were like, I know I'm sore, but I'm committed to doing this, so I'm gonna go out and push it again.

Angie: 28:24

They only committed to the hard days and not also to the whole thing.

Kevin: 28:27

They missed the process. They just caught the hard days. And that's not committed to the process. That's not how the whole process works.

Angie: 28:34

Yeah. And so I think this is also like a good segue into our next area of commitment.'cause we've talked about commitment to yourself, commitment to the process. Then there's also a commitment to others. And I want you to tell the story that you told me before we hit record today, because this was a part of how. Kevin honored his commitment to run this morning because in on the cross country team, we talk about showing up for your teammates, as a commitment to other, but in real life there's also commitment to your training partners, like I've already talked about with my 5:30 AM Tuesday group. There's. commitment to your family. There's commitment to your community. Maybe you're showing up and doing a community race. There's lots of different things, but tell them how this kind of played out for you this morning.

Kevin: 29:19

Okay, so I did not re, I was not excited to get up and run this morning. The alarm went off at five and. I immediately hit the snooze on my watch, which is what I always do. It does not mean that I snooze, but I hit the snooze button, not the off button, and I laid there for a few seconds and I thought to myself, I don't want to run. That was my first thought.

Angie: 29:41

Yes, he does think that too, guys, and think that's a lot of, so many people look at you like, does he ever feel that way? Yes.

Kevin: 29:47

That was my, he does. That was my first thought. I hit snooze. My first thought was, I don't want to go run. And then I had this series of thoughts, oh shoot, I hit the snooze button, which means my watch is gonna buzz again in 10 minutes and that's gonna wake Angie up. And that's not okay to her. Or I have to shut the alarm off on my watch. In order to do that, I have to turn the watch on and make the watch go all with a big, bright light in our dark bedroom right now, and that's gonna wake her up and that's not okay. I have to, at a minimum, get out of bed, go to a different room and shut the alarm off, and then maybe try to crawl back into bed without waking her up. And by that point I was already in other room. My running clothes were sitting there and I'm up and going, but I was committed to not waking you up. That was part of it. And that was enough. I don't know, is that motivation to not wake you up, to be kind to you. That was part of it, but it was also, it was a commitment I had to Respecting your sleep. And respecting you as part of my training process also.

Angie: 30:51

Yeah. And I think that's huge and that's where, a lot of these core values overlap, right? Because a lot of the things that we're talking about today, like we're talking about commitment to the process. Last week we talked about respect for the process, and so they are related, but they're, hopefully, you can also see how they're. They're different in a way as well, and that's where commitment to others comes in. It does obviously overlap with respect for others too, but commitment to others also shows up as like accountability. being reliable, being there, doing what you say you're gonna do, which again is also integrity. It's encouragement, it's lifting others up when their motivation dips, when they don't feel like it. When I. Push Kevin outta bed some mornings because I know that he's committed to it. Or I'll, maybe I'll just ask him like, are you gonna go run? And that question enough is enough for him to get outta bed?

Kevin: 31:39

If you ever ask me, are you gonna go run it is usually from a place of, your alarm has gone off and it's woken me up. Okay. And I, it's not, it never comes with like anger in your voice, but in my head. I interpret it this way and it helps me get outta bed. this is absolutely, maybe every once in a while, this is what she's actually feeling. Yeah. But in my head it is. You jerk, your alarm woke me up. So you better get up and go run now. it better be worthwhile. And that is not that's never, not at all. That's never how you push me. No, you're never like grumpy when you do it. You just, you honestly check in with me and you're like, Hey, are you going to run this morning? But if I interpret as I'm still laying in bed debating about whether I would like to get up and do the thing. Yeah. If you ask me that, I like to give you that quality and it helps me be like, oh, if, oh, that's

Angie: 32:34

fun. Yeah. Yeah. You give that quality to me. Yes. Okay.

Kevin: 32:38

that's not how you ask it. yeah. But I put that on you of I woke her up so I better go up and do the damn thing. that's so funny. That's, and it really helps me get out of bed.

Angie: 32:47

That's really funny, so I can be the bad guy for you too. Yeah, like I tell our kids this all the time, like I tell our kids, if there's things that you don't wanna do or like a situation you don't want to be in, make me the bad guy. if you, like your friends wanna go hang out and you don't wanna go do that thing, just make me the bad guy. Tell'em I'm the one that said you can't do it. if you genuinely just don't wanna go, it's fine.

Kevin: 33:07

You've been the bad guy plenty of times. Yeah. You are very good at being the gentle, bad guy in the middle of an ultra race. You are both incredibly supportive, but also. You have to play the bad guy because I hit incredibly low points. And part of that is on you to be like, alright, you are fine. You are going to go keep doing the thing now. Yeah. And that's a lot to put onto you and I don't it, you've never had to like. Force me back out. But you don't get to be gentle. You don't get to be like, oh, it's, I know you're hurting. come sit down over here. Like it requires some effort on your part also, to make sure somewhere in the, that 50 to 70 mile that I would, I'm going to continue on the next loop. I'm gonna continue down the road, whatever the thing is. Yeah. Because at that point there is, most things in me are saying this is the appropriate time to stop.

Angie: 34:01

Yeah, and I think that takes us to our final area of commitment that we wanted to talk about today, which is either commitment in competition, or what I like to think of as commitment to the outcome. we've talked about commitment to the process, but I also think there needs to be a level of commitment to the outcome that you want, because commitment can be giving your best effort on race day, regardless of the outcome, but you need to have a commitment. To that outcome in order to give your best effort, if that makes sense. Do you think So you, are you following

Kevin: 34:35

me here? this is how I'm interpreting that. I may be off base here. Yeah. because you're way smarter than I am. So I'm hearing that as if you've got an outcome, it helps you commit to the process along the way to give yourself the best chance of getting to the outcome. But on race day. On the day itself, you are beyond the point of controlling all the things for the outcome. Yeah. At that point, you're essentially putting in your best effort. But you've had in mind through the whole process what that outcome is. Even on race day, you have in mind what you want that outcome to be. Yeah. But sometimes things go south, sometimes things come up and you're like, Ooh, that outcome is not reachable anymore. And then you're leaning into, I'm still going to show up as best as I possibly can.

Angie: 35:19

Yeah, it's a combination and this is where it's like a weird paradox in a way, because the outcome has to both matter to you and not matter to you at the same time. Yeah. Like it's about being committed to the outcome that you want and knowing the effort that it's going to require to. Achieve that outcome and also being detached from whether or not you'd achieve the outcome. because whether or not you achieve the outcome does not determine if you did a good job. It does not determine your level of success, but you have to be attached to the outcome enough, I think, in order to give the appropriate effort that is needed to achieve it. Does that make sense? if, but like you can't let the outcome. Determine your success, your worthiness, your effort level. Like you, you can still put in the high quality best effort. And not get the outcome that you want.

Kevin: 36:16

Yes. And I, this is where there's levels of success. Yeah. if you have a clear, objective, numeric race outcome and you don't hit it, you have objectively failed. But that does not mean that race was a failure. Yeah, if every marathon I lined up for, I objectively missed the number that I was going for. That does not mean that all of those races were failures. Some of them I was not as pleased with how I raced as others. Some of them were phenomenal successes and there were conditions way beyond my control. Some. Were emotional breakthroughs for me. Some of them I'm like, oh, I let myself off the hook towards the end of that one and to me, that part where I left my, let myself off the hook where I'm like, the race got away from me. That was one where I was not committed to the competition because I said, I don't think that I can get to this outcome anymore. Because I'm not willing to be in this much pain any longer. I think a lot of people do that in races. Yeah. Is that outcome numerically that numerical outcome didn't mean enough to me that day that I decided that it didn't mean enough to hurt that much. and we were talking with the cross country team today.'cause we just had a race last weekend and today was like the go back over the results of the race. And a few of them were like,'cause you kept asking them, what kind of lessons did you learn? And they were sometimes

Angie: 37:42

talking to high

Kevin: 37:42

school

Angie: 37:42

kids

37:43

is

Kevin: 37:43

like pulling teeth. they were not giving you a lot. No. And some of them gave you some interesting thoughts on pacing. Yeah. But a lot of them gave the idea of I need to try harder. And that is a very tricky concept because Almost every race you finish, even if you're like dry heaving at the finish line, if you think back over it, you're like, I probably could have pushed harder at that point. Yeah. Because if you look back, you can always see a part where you're like, yeah, that at that section I could have done it because you weren't exhausted at that section. You probably think you could have gone harder in the first half mile because you weren't dying during the first half mile. Yeah.

Angie: 38:18

but then we also sometimes forget, if we did go harder in that first half mile, like how would you have felt in mile three?

Kevin: 38:23

Where you already were just dragging in mile three would've. You would've

Angie: 38:27

been even

Kevin: 38:27

worse. Exactly. So it's tricky and that's why. I learning how to try harder is very tough because you're living in this part where you really want to go for that numerical outcome. And the level of pain that requires, I don't think it's trying harder, I think it's becoming more okay with the level of discomfort that you just have to sit at. I think that is the lesson that a lot of people need to learn when racing is how uncomfortable it's going to be to get the number that you want. Yeah. And it's often a lot more uncomfortable for a lot longer than people are willing to accept, and that's why people come up short. I know. That's why I came up short in every marathon, except for, I wanna say maybe two. Yeah. That I'm like, yeah, it was 105 degrees. That might have been why I missed my time on that one day.

Angie: 39:17

Yeah. But I think that's also. We as humans, that's shows the mental aspect of running, right? Like it's that willingness to be in that discomfort both physically and mentally, that men mentally accepting the f. Amount and the level of physical discomfort that you're feeling and continuing to put yourself through it. And that's really where endurance running and the best endurance athletes tend to shine.

Kevin: 39:45

Yes. The people that can live in that level of discomfort. And find a way to just keep persevering. Yeah. And that's why all the different events,'cause runners love to have this debate of what's the most. Painful race. It's, they're all painful, all in a different way. Because the burn of an 800 run at, world class level where like men's 800 is going in the low one forties, but it's a minute and 40 seconds of burning from the gun. Yeah. Like you are immediately. In pain, and you're going to hold that for the next minute and 30 seconds because you're in pain after about 10 seconds on like when you're moving that fast. It's just painful. The burn that you get in a 5K is different. Like it's a level of discomfort that is more sustainable. It's not literally, I'm going to shove my hand down onto the burning stove. It's, I'm gonna hold it just above, I'm not immediately blistering, but this is incredibly painful. Yeah, but you can hold it there for a little bit longer. And it's how do I disassociate from that pain? Do I pull into that pain? And there's so many strategies of how you race through these things. All races are super uncomfortable. It's just how that, how your body perceives it, how you mentally perceive it. I, when I got into the. The first a hundred I ran, I was not mentally prepared to cover that thing because I'm like, this is such a slow pace. This is, how is this going to become so remarkably difficult? And after you do it for several hours, you're like, I think running seems like the worst idea ever. I have to lay down now. Yeah. Is essentially that's the thing is

Angie: 41:21

you have to figure out a way to keep going. Yes. Even though it's. Slower, quote unquote, slow. It's,

Kevin: 41:26

it seems slow and it's so much slower than I would race even a marathon, which I'm out there for a couple of hours. It's so much slower than that, and yet I can't seem to go any faster. And it's the weirdest sensation. The

Angie: 41:39

Kevin Shuffle is one of my favorite things, like when that hits the. Feel the lightning. that was one of my favorite clips of, that video still makes me chuckle.

Kevin: 41:49

I'm glad it does because I was in excruciating pain at that point.

Angie: 41:53

That was a little inside joke from Kevin's first a hundred mile attempt. That was a hundred

Kevin: 42:00

K effort.

Angie: 42:01

Yeah, that was at mile 50 after an extended break that where he had to sit in the air conditioning. We tried to refuel and then he decided he was gonna keep going and he just looked like an old man shuffling. Oh, it was brutal down the road. Like that

Kevin: 42:15

was so bad. My knees wouldn't bend. My hamstrings were screaming. I'm like, I can't move. I'm not running at this. I can't, like my legs aren't moving in a normal fashion.

Angie: 42:25

Yeah. that's what happens. Your body just forgets how to run when you're doing that for a hundred miles, right? There's gotta be some of that somewhere.

Kevin: 42:33

I'm so excited to do it again.

Angie: 42:35

You are interesting human. So there has to be this commitment, to competition, to competing with yourself because competition, and this doesn't mean you even have to race. I think that. We often look at competition as racing, and I think there's a lot of runners that don't race. I haven't raced in a while. I, I guess I, I still do our school 5K every year. So there is that, that I, it's

Kevin: 43:00

commitment to the community

Angie: 43:01

that is c and to the race. Like this year or last year, when I ran it, I tried to. Get one of our girls to give me an out so I didn't have to race it. Oh

Kevin: 43:11

yeah, you did

Angie: 43:12

was I think that was last year, wasn't it? So it might've been the year before, but I was like, come on, I'll just, I'll run with you. It's fine. Like we'll run your pace. Because then I wouldn't have to push myself and I then decided that I didn't actually want to. To give myself that out, like I did want to go out and commit to the competition, and that competition wasn't against anybody else in the race. That competition was against myself and all of the voices in my head like screaming at me during that. Race.

Kevin: 43:42

Yeah. Because there's always the voices screaming. I mean that ultimately that's the competition. Yes, there are other people in the race, but it is so much a competition between you and all the voices in your head screaming slow down. I also had the competition for, the freshman religion teacher at our school, between me and everybody in her classes that she had offered extra credit to if they beat me in the race. Yes. So I had that level of competition also. She always checks with me now.

Angie: 44:06

Yeah. She always, so that freshman religion teacher offers a hundred, what'd she offer? I think it's a free

Kevin: 44:12

hundred test grade.

Angie: 44:14

Yeah. If they beat Kevin, which has never happened before, which is fantastic. there, no, there was one year, right? yes. Didn't somebody like the day af when you They,

Kevin: 44:23

they have to because there's a negative, like it's a gamble on their part. Like they have to tell her that they're going to go out and beat me, and if they don't beat me, then there's like a penalty that they take. And so one of the kids on our cross country team knew that I had when I was running a hundred miler, and that the 5K was the next weekend. Yes. So he knew that was not going to go well and that he could. Definitely beat me. Yeah. And so he said, I will take that challenge. And she was like, okay, this is gonna be great. And, not knowing at all that I was going to go race a hundred miler, and then I sent out a message to all the faculty, oh, this is what I'm doing this weekend. And she goes, no. I offered everybody extra credit. You can't, this is not okay.

Angie: 45:04

Sorry. No, you have to back out. That's not gonna work for me. But yeah, so I think that ultimately. The big takeaways from this episode are, commitment is better and greater than motivation because commitment is going to lead to sustainable results. And commitment is a choice that you have control over. Versus commitment is a feeling that is fleeting that you can bring in sometimes, but also have a hard time bringing in. Other times,

Kevin: 45:31

commitment is a choice. Motivation is a feeling. Did I say opposite? You said commitment is both.

Angie: 45:36

Oh, I did. Yes, you did. thank you for correcting me. Commitment is a choice. Motivation is a feeling. So after listening to this, maybe just think about an area where you might need to recommit right now. And maybe the answer is, I'm doing really great with my commitment. I feel very solid with my level of commitment, to myself, to the process, to others, to competition, whatever that might be. and maybe. See again, opportunity for growth. That's what running is. Running gives us an opportunity and a lens where we can start to look at ourselves and look at where we are and at different areas of, in different areas of our life and. Decide how we want to grow and improve on those things as well. Yeah,

Kevin: 46:17

that's beautiful. Good. Good summary.

Angie: 46:18

Good summary. All right, so join us for our next episode where we'll be addressing core value number four. I wonder what it is.

Kevin: 46:27

Me too.'cause I forget what number four one is. I know what number five is. I forget number four.

Angie: 46:32

Four begins with an R. Excellent. All right. So as always, thanks guys for joining us. I would love for you to leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify and share this episode or this podcast with other people so that we can help more runners to feel strong, feel empowered, and run their life. And as always, this has been the Real Life Runners podcast, episode number 427. Now, get out there and run your life.